So yesterday, I spoke about my views on religion. Today I’m going to talk about a time that I thought of ending my life. Hope it isn’t too deep.
I had just woken up from sleep. I started smiling at the shadowy figures across the room even though they couldn’t see me. They were clearly fond of each other. Suddenly the flashbacks came. I started remembering the incident. The numbness. The feeling of powerlessness. My body started to shake and tears started streaming down my eyes. I started to worry about everything. School. Disappointment. Everything. For a minute there, I saw things differently. The knife started to seem attractive. The thought of a thousand pills going down my throat felt exciting enough to try. They seemed to be my way out of this thing holding me. It was becoming too much for me. But then He stepped in and reminded me of everything. My family. My friends. The guy I love. The guy that loves me. The consequences. I couldn’t do it. He won me over with grace. I am eternally grateful for that.
Before you judge me, try hard to love me – MJ