Dolly Writes

Journey of a growing woman

Month: March, 2013

Pain of the world

He himself bore our sins in his body upon the cross so that, free from sin, we might live for righteousness. By his wounds, you have been healed – 1 Peter 2:24

His own people rejected him
He was betrayed by his friend
His friend denied him
His people handed him over for crucifixion
He was flogged
A crown of thorns was placed on his head
He was mocked
He was spat on
He was insulted….(A WHOLE KING)
He was scourged
His mother watched him die…
He was nailed on the cross
Insulted by a thief
Much more…..

Yesterday, I read my lovy’s post. She wrote about pain. The post was deep..like really deep. So, yesterday night….I was thinking about how much I hated pain…all kinds of pain…physical, mental, emotional, psychological..I hate pain…Then I came across something that had to do with the death of Christ..and I felt pain inside me…All he went through..just so that I can be free…I have never watched ‘Passion of Christ’ fully because it is painful and deep and I tear up anytime I see a bit of it. I hate seeing it because I feel guilt and everyone knows how terrible guilt can feel. So, I don’t want to be reminded that everyday of m life…I forget that someone did something really special for me centuries ago..That as he was nailed on that cross, I was on his mind…He felt ‘I’m doing this for Dolly because I want her to be saved and I want her to be free and to live a good life’…He left his throne…where he was treated as a KING…to come to earth to save me…All that pain…just for me…and Mary(Bless her soul) watched as her son died…No one in his/her right senses would want to go through that sort of pain for anyone talk less of for the whole world…I’m no saint…I sin everyday….terrible sins…I wish I could be better and I try..but today I’m using this to acknowledge what someone beautiful did for me and for everyone…It’s amazing and I love Jesus Christ with all my heart, my soul..my body..my being…and I thank him for doing this for me.

Happy Good Friday.

P.S. To read Aku’s post on pain, go to http://wp.me/s2SBwD-pain / http://www.myinsecuritiesandco.wordpress.com . It’s an amazing post so take your time to read it.

Bless,
Dolly
xo.

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Burning feelings

Sitting down at the edge of the bed beside you watching you sleep, I reminisce over the last 12 hours. Gentle touches leaving me wanting more…Kisses that leave me breathless…Cuddles that make me feel like a little girl again…The feeling of love brewing inside me as well as the feeling of pain as I know that it would never be…

I’m scared….really scared…because..
I know what I feel but I don’t know what you feel…
I mean…when I kiss you…it’s different…It’s beyond physical…I’m somewhere else..somewhere peaceful
Its love…love in its purest form..
It’s…an amazing feeling..Do you know what it means to get that close to someone you love?

Watching you sleep is beautiful…
It’s like a miracle to see such beauty
Still….I’m wondering what you think of me
Do you love me the way I love you?
Or am I just ‘one of them’
Thinking about it…I’m probably not that important to you
But
I can’t say that love hurts because that would be an insult on love
I will just say that the universe is crazy
Because it just pulls two unlikely people together to hurt them for whatever reason..

Okay I’m talking crazy talk now..
I guess I should stop now…..

Lovesick

For Bi Kelly

It’s amazing how time flies…
4 years have gone within the blink of an eye
Life has continued but you have always remained in my thoughts and memories…

I remember the first day I met you…
It was an accent I had never heard before…
For some reason, I thought you were the Hausa teacher…
Lol..but what did I know..I was just in JS1…
You eventually introduced yourself to us as the ‘Swahili’ teacher
Swahili? What language was that?
You answered the questions that clouded my thoughts soon enough
You were from Kenya..
As time passed, you captured the hearts of my mates and the whole school..
Everyone loved you Bi Kelly
Students didn’t want to get rude to you because they didn’t want to hurt you
You really made that much of an impact..
You were so happy and so jovial…
I loved being in your presence…
The peace that surrounded you made me forget all my worries
You made us laugh so much with your accent and your humour….
I remember when you decided to take students on a trip to Kenya…
It was expensive and students kept on saying how they weren’t going to go
I laughed and said…it wasn’t going to happen..
I wasn’t going to go
For some reason, my dad decided to pay for the trip when he saw it in the school newsletter
I complained for a while because I didn’t know any of my mates that were going
But soon after, I got used to it and I thought ‘This might be fun’
And it was….
I loved that we got to spend that time with you in your country that you were so proud of..
My mum started to talk to you every now and then and just like everyone, she loved you
….
I remember that particular day in SS1 when you entered the class and everyone was worried because you had lost so much weight
At the same time, you looked pale…
We asked what was wrong and you laughed and said so cheerfully ‘My doctor said I should lose weight if not ill die’
You told us of how you had to start exercising because of your health but you said it so peacefully and cheerfully that no one thought it was that serious
Until…
Things started getting worse..
You became very weak and you couldn’t stand without leaning..
You were paler and weaker….but in everything you kept on smiling
You kept on being happy….

I was at home when I heard about your death…
I can’t remember the particular date…but I know it was around this period
I laughed because I couldn’t believe it…
But it was true…
Everyone was shocked…no one could talk openly…everyone spoke in whispers…
It was hard to believe
My mum decided that we would go for your funeral…
We got there very late…when they were putting your coffin in the car…
My heart sank…
Of course, other Bells students and teachers were there…to say their final goodbyes

It was different when you left…
Every once in a while….someone would say ‘I miss Bi Kelly’ and the mood will just change
Your office was left empty for a very long time and people kept leaving messages on the paper pinned to the door
It’s funny how….I have never cried in the space of four years over your death…
I have always been sad when I think about it…but I have not cried
Today, however….I cried….and my heart was sad..

Bi Kelly…I miss you so much
Your students miss you
The Bells misses you
You were an amazing teacher
Words cannot describe how beautiful you were both inside and out
It’s so sad..that you had to leave us so soon…
But then again..
We can’t question God…
He has a reason for everything

It’s funny how we used to joke about how Bells management liked to feel different with themselves
By making us learn Swahili
But then again….if Swahili wasn’t brought to Bells
We never would have met you
No one ever replaced you in teaching us
No one could even replace you if they tried…..

I hope and I’m sure I speak for others
That you are dining with the angels
Because…you deserve to be among the angels
That’s where you belong….

Rest in Paradise, Bi Kelly..
I love you…
We love you….

Woman

Have you ever heard or read about Maya Angelou’s poem, ‘Phenomenal woman’? Well, if you haven’t, I suggest you read it. It’s an amazing poem. It’s not like I’m so smart or anything because I only just read it properly yesterday when my friend was talking about it. I imagine that Maya Angelou had come to terms with what it meant to be a woman when she wrote it.

I’m a woman,
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Have you ever mastered the power of a woman?
Women are blessed beyond measure with gifts and powers that even their minds cannot comprehend. Scientists, in all their hypothetical glory have still not found it easy to comprehend the female gender.
What can a woman do, you say; Isn’t she meant for the kitchen, you say; Well, I say you are naive and backward in thinking.
Women have brought the most powerful men in history down on their knees. Cleopatra single handedly brought down Caesar and Anthony.At the same time, Thatcher took on Britain in a way that no prime minister had ever done before. Queen Victoria was a legend. Joan of Arc was on another level. Need I go on about more of this powerful women in history?
Women are the glue that keep the world from falling apart more than it already has. Women keep the family together and without families, what will we make of the world? Women run the world from behind the scenes. A woman works the triple shift; she does the emotional work, takes care of her family while trying to balance her job. A woman will fight to keep what is hers and when a woman gets angry, the flames of hell can’t be compared.
A woman is a gem and so women should be respected and appreciated because the world needs them. God realised this and gave Eve to Adam.

Now, while we sit here on this beautiful day celebrating women all around the world, there are some women out there who are suffering. Some of them are treated like dirt in different countries around the world. They have no freedom and they have no rights. Some women in some countries are prosecuted if they are caught wearing jeans. Some women are killed if they commit adultery while the men are allowed to keep as many wives as possible without getting a hair on their body touched. Some women are married off from very early ages like 8 to men that are old enough to be their grandpas. In fact, Afghanistan has been tagged as the worst country for a woman to live in. I saw a picture of a woman who had been bathed with acid simply because she refused to marry her boyfriend. Why do women have to go through this? They are the ones who will bear the future generation that will take the world forward. In every way you can, spread the word! Women need to be free!

Happy international women’s day.

P.S. In order to show your support to these women suffering, please go to the following websites:
http://www.amnesty.org
wecanendvaw.org
http://www.togetherforsudan.com
http://www.hrw.org
http://www.vsointernational.org
http://www.womenforwomen.org.uk

Thank you for reading.
Dolly.
Before you judge me, try hard to love me – MJ

Weekends with Dolly (Episode 1)

The person you love and the person that loves you can never be the same person.

I can’t remember exactly where I read or heard this quote from. All I know is that, the first time I read it or heard it, it made a big impact on me and that is why I have never been able to forget it. It is such a powerful and deep statement and I can only wonder what the person that made it must have experienced or must have been going through. I decided to ask other people what they felt about this quote and I’m going to give you their answers but before I do that, I’ll tell you what I think about it.

Personally I think that this quote couldn’t be more true. What I understood from this quote that in life, you can only have one person that would be the ‘love of your life’. This person is the person that has touched your heart so much that no one could ever possibly touch your heart like that again. Unfortunately, this person might not feel the same way about you. You probably love the person way more than that person could ever love you. If you are lucky, the person would love you the way you love them and if you are even luckier, you might get to spend the rest of your life with that person. If you don’t, then that means you will meet someone else who would love you so much which could make you the love of that person’s life. This is the difference. It doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love with that person. Au contraire. You probably will and maybe you will be crazy in love with that person but it might never be the same as ‘the love of your life’.

You don’t have to agree with me. Lol.. I mean ‘what do I know?’. It’s just a personal opinion. It’s what came to mind when I heard or read this quote for the first time. I’ll give you all the opinions of other people I asked. Here goes.

Q: What do you think of this statement, ‘the person you love and the person that loves you can never be the same person’?

Morenike:It’s always true for a long time. But sometimes, people that have been married for some what 50 years prove that there is hope. Something to look forward to.

Una: It depends but most times we love wrong. The ones that care, we don’t return it but we love the ones that don’t care. So it’s true.

Aisha: I think it’s true for many people in the world but, there is always the lucky people that are the exception + you can love anyone and anyone can love you. It’ll be more precise if ‘in love with’ is used.

Adaugo: It’s the complete truth but maybe not ‘never’.

Rola: It happens. It happens a lot but I don’t know if it is all the time.

Hawaa: That’s just it. The person would just never be the same cuz someone might love you while you love someone else.

Natasha: They can never be the same because the person that loves you and the person you love can never be the same person that other people see. You love someone for their insides and others might not be able to see who that person really is except you.

Ola: Not always. In fact, the statement is wrong!. I don’t know but people find their true love and stay together forever and the love is reciprocated. That statement is for people who are too busy to notice their real lover and chase after what they think should be ‘the one’.

Rihanna:I don’t think it’s true. How is the author of the quote so sure? The statement is too generalised.

Gadil:Well I think it could be true sometimes but not definitely every time. And the way the world is going, I doubt if love exists. It’s all about the mula.

Abdul: Yes it’s true although it depends on the situation.

Benjamin: I think it makes sense.

Okay so this is it. These are the opinions of the people that I asked and you have to admit that people see it differently. Most people agreed with the statement although they also thought that it depended on the circumstances. Some people disagreed with it completely as they didn’t think that it made sense in any way and others like Natasha took a different approach to the question which a lot of people may agree with. There isn’t a right or wrong answer and all the answers here has made me look at love in a different way and I find it amazing. Thanks for reading and to everyone that gave me answers to this question, a massive thank you.

P.S. I didn’t use real names.

Laters xx,
Dolly.
Before you judge me, try hard to love me – MJ

Let’s try it

So, my friend and I were talking about my blog some days ago and she was telling me to post something about her. I was teasing and asking her what I could possibly post on her and then she told me that I could ask her opinion on something and then post it. From there, an idea was born. I told her that if it was possible to ask people on their opinions on different issues, it would be cool. She said, I could pick a certain day of the week to give people’s opinions on stuff and so I decided to start ‘Weekends with Dolly’ where I ask people their opinions on stuff prior to the weekend and then I post it. Hope you all enjoy it. My email is akitoyed@live.com. So please email me..if you please. Thanks for reading.