My light

Some people are not born to be happy

They are born to be great

I must admit, the first time I heard this statement

I was intrigued by it

It got into the deeper parts of me because I felt like it applied to me

Well about being great, that I don’t know for sure

but when it comes to not being happy,

Well, sometimes I feel like I am in that category

I enjoy putting a smile on the faces on the faces of others

It melts my heart and makes me feel warm

Knowing that I have somehow managed to make someone happy

Makes me feel like I have healed the world just a tiny tiny bit

I have struggled with my own happiness

There are days when I feel like enough is enough

And I start to wonder how better others will feel if I just took a bow

Personal happiness has just been really difficult for me to achieve

I don’t know why but it just hasn’t been easy

The worst part of it is that

When I finally feel like I am happy

When I finally start to feel content

When I finally start to feel like everything in my world is right

Someone, somewhere or something just decides to snatch it all away from me

Someone decides to just come and start taking away my light, my joy, my peace, my happiness

And sometimes I start to wonder why

I start to wonder where I went wrong

I know I’m not perfect

I am so far away from perfect

I know I struggle to be on God’s A team

But then, I am not that terrible

I mean, don’t I deserve some happiness

Just a bit of happiness

Why would someone want to take away everything

And make me start over 

I’m just tired

I am just so so tired

I am just hoping that I never get too tired

2 thoughts on “My light

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s