Wing It!

I have been really inspired lately. I have been inspired greatly. I haven’t exactly started writing stuff but my mind is open to all sorts of ideas.

Last week, Beyoncé dropped her latest album without any sort of promo or prior warning. I am not a Beyoncé fan right. I mean, I know I like some of her songs and I know that she’s an amazing performer but I hadn’t really been a fan. However, I have to say that when I saw that she had just dropped an album secretly, I was just in awe of her.

Anyway, it wasn’t just how she dropped her album but also what was in it. I haven’t heard all the songs or seen all the videos but the ones I have seen and heard just showed a different side of her. I mean, it was the same Beyoncé but it was just different. She was just open. More open than the world has ever seen her.

That kind of inspired me to be a bit more open with myself because it will free me up a little bit. So I want to try to be open and free about myself  and about who I am.

Lately, I have been in an almost happy place in my life. The reason for this is that I am in loveeeee. Lol. I am not one to say things like this out loud but I searched my heart well enough and I found out that I am in love. Lol.

Now see, I am a romantic at heart. I mean, I don’t like Romeo and Juliet or Titanic but I mean I still appreciate love anyway. Child, love is beautiful.

I have liked before. I have been in relationships that I genuinely thought would lead me to the altar and I wasn’t even an adult yet. However, this lovee feeling I have been experiencing is so different because I am not even thinking about myself. I am thinking about ‘my sugar daddy’. Lol.

I am not thinking of what I will get from him. I am thinking of what I can give to him. A second away from him is like a day away from him. He is my motivation and he brings my true self out. I haven’t ever felt as free as I am when I am with him.

Now, my honeys, listen…I’ll tell you this, I am taking this one step at a time. I do not know what will happen tomorrow. I can tell you what I feel for him but I can’t tell you what he feels for me is more or less because I ain’t in his mind. I can’t tell you how far we will go. No one knows what will happen the next second. I give everything because that is just who I am. Whatever happens, happens and that has been my motto.

I am hoping for the very best but I am expecting that the end result mind not be good. I don’t want to think about that though..Lol. It is LIFE. LIVE IT! BE FREE! BE HAPPY! GET RID OF THE NEGATIVE ENERGY! Lol.

Keke Palmer kept a picture on her instagram yesterday that really inspired me to write this post. The picture reads:

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.

We all have an image in our head of how love should be or how friendship should be or how marriage should be or how life should be. Child, that is the cause of most of our problems. Having that image limits you. Don’t put an image in your head. Create an image for yourself. When people look at what I have with my sugar daddy. They may not see it as normal but sweetie, what is normal?

She also wrote something under the picture which I am going to quote fully because I think all bits of it are important. She said:

Live your life freely. We will experience perfection in Heaven. Be a good person. Have good intentions but do not worry yourself with the ideas and boundaries the world sets around you. God does not expect us to be anything more than human and our inadequacies only bring us closer to him. He expects us to fall and encourages our experiences because they help us understand. Being a follower of Christ does not mean shaming yourself and trying to do everything ‘right’. What is ‘right’? I’m learning this. You create your own story and if YOU are okay with it, that is ALL that matters. You must follow your own path no matter how difficult, God is beside you. Just live and love. Live outside the limits of your mind and hold on in faith to the final destination of everlasting life.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. I won’t lie to you, I still struggle with personal happiness and some days are really bad for me but hey, I’m trying. Do it guys. This world that God created for us is too beautiful to leave without exploring. Be who you want to be because God put that image in you.

Child…I have spoken for so longggg. I can’t even believe myself. I have run around in circles in some parts but it is how I genuinely feel at the moment.

Oh, before I get off you guy’s screens, I wanted to tell you all that I want to start another challenge soon where I will be more open. You guys know how I am with challenges..I never finish them but its worth a try at least. Keeps me going.

Thanks for all the time you have taken to read this. I am so thankful.

Much love from me always.

Dolly.

 

 

 

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