Dolly Writes

Journey of a growing woman

Month: June, 2014

The Story of She

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she loved him

she loved him more than anyone she had ever known

more than herself

more than beans and rice

more than Lenon loved Ono

more than Johnny loved June

more than Bonnie loved Clyde

she could give him the whole world

she couldn’t bear to see herself with anybody else

she’d rather die than let anyone else touch her body

she could sacrifice her happiness for his

because her true happiness was his

she was sure of her love for him

but he…..

he said he loved her

he said he cared

but she didn’t believe him

because though she loved

she didn’t know how to receive love

so she could never really tell the difference

between true love and infatuation

and that is what made her story so sad

that she will never be really sure of what love is

she felt like she lacked love

and all she could do to make up for it

was loving harder

but then

what good is love or passion

when you’ll never know how to accept it

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10 Things I Want To Say To A Black Woman

I know I have been bombarding you all with lots of these spoken word stuff. I was going to stop for a while but I found this really beautiful one.

It’s like the reverse of the one that I put yesterday by Falu. This piece is probably one of the best spoken word poems I have ever heard. Every Black woman needs to hear this. In fact, listen to it every morning so that you can realize how special you are.

I couldn’t stop smiling as I was listening to it. Anyway, listen to Joshua Bennet praise the black woman.

As usual, Ill leave the transcript below for those that prefer reading it.

10 things I want to say to a black woman.

1. I wish I could put your voice in a jar; Wait for those lonely winter nights when I forget how God sounds like; Run to the nearest maximum security prison and open it. Watch the notes bounce off the walls like ricochet bullets, etching key holes into the sternums of every brother in the room, skeletons opening, rose blossom beautiful to remind you that the way to a black man’s heart is not through his stomach but its through the heaven in your ‘hello’. The echo of unborn galaxies that pounces forth from your vocal cords and melts ice grills into oceans, baptizing our lips and so harsh words fade from our memories and we forget why we stopped calling you divine in the first place.

2. When I was born, my mother’s smile was so bright, it knocked the air from my lungs and I haven’t been able to breathe right since. It’s something about the way light dances off of your teeth. The way the moon gets jealous when you mock her crescent figure with the shape of your mouth, queen. You make the sky insecure, self conscious from being forced to stare at your face every morning and realize that the blues of her skin was painted by that symphony doing cartwheels on your tongue.

3. Who else can make kings out of bastards? Turn a fatherless christmas into a floor full of gifts and the kitchen that smells like the Lord is coming tomorrow and we must eat well tonight. I used to think my sister was a blacksmith. The way she put fire and metal and made kitchen miracles at 14. Making enough food to feed a little boy who didn’t have the words to say how much she meant to him back then or have the backbone to say so the day he turned 20.

4. Your skin reminds me of everything beautiful I’ve ever known; The color of ink on a page, the earth we walk on and the cross that held my savior.

5. I’ve seen you crucified too. Spread out on billboards to be spiritually impaled by millions of men with eyes like nails who made martyrs of your daughters. So I’m sorry for the music videos;For Justin Timberlake at the Super Bowl and the young man on the corner this morning. Made you want to shed your flesh and become invisible. Never doubt that they only insult you because…men are confused and we are trained to destroy or conquer everything we see from birth.

6. If I ever see Don Imus in public, I’ll punch him in the face; One time for every member of the Rutgers and Tennessee basketball teams. Then i’ll show him a picture of Phylicia Rashad, Assata Shakur, Eartha Kitt, my mother, my grandmother and my seven year old neice whose got eyes like fire bombs and then dare him to tell me that black women are only beautiful in one shade of skin.

7. You are like a sunrise in a nation at war. You remind people that there is always something worth waking up to.

8. When we are married, I will cook, do the dishes and whatever else it takes to let you know that traditional gender roles have no place in the home we build. So my last name is an option. Babysitting the kids, a treat we split equally and our bed will be an ancient temple, where I construct altars of wax on the small of your back and we make love like the sky is falling, moving to the rhythm of bed springs and Bel Biv Deveo, angels applauding in unison, saying this is the way it was meant to be.

9. My daughter will know her father’s face from the day she is born and I can only pray that the Superman complex lasts long enough for me to deflect the pain this world will aim at her. From the moment she’s old enough to realize that the color ‘brown’ is still not considered human in most places. But my daughter will have a smile like a wheelchair and so even when I’m at my worst, when the kryptonite of this putrid planet threatens to render me grounded, The light dancing off her teeth will transform the shards of my broken body into heart-shaped blackbirds, taking flight on the wind that reminds me of my savior’s hands, my daughter’s smile and my mother’s laugh when I was in her womb.

10. Never stop pushing. This world needs you now more than ever.

10 Things I Want To Say To A Black Man

Spoken word has been my rock these past few days and I can’t just keep them to myself. I feel the need to share them because they are very inspiring.

I found this poem by a woman named Falu and I love black women who know their poetry because they make you feel it deep down in your spirit. They are the ones that inspire me to keep writing. Spoken word, to me, is a blessing to the universe.

Anyway, here she gives you ten things that she would want a black man to know and I completely agree with her. The first half is about the beauty of the man and the second half kind of talks about a man’s relations with a woman. I’ll leave a transcript down below for those that prefer to read it.

10 things I want to say to a black man
1. There’s always been this awkward hue of brown that I love about you; The admirable transparency of your chest sometimes at night we lay; I watch the slaves hang themselves; even they are aware that only you can bare such a burden.

2. I watch you…on the sacred pew seats of the A train, legs ajar, feathered loose around your neck; My breath on your adam’s apple blowing in sin; I ain’t never been ashamed of what we do in the dark.

3. There is something about the skin of a black man that will make a woman squeeze herself into a box of his DNA; Something about your eyes that makes me want to collect your tears for Kool-Aid; You are magic; Always magic.

4. Sometimes in the middle of the week, I pretend to be your lover; The heavy of you on my chest, remove your suspenders; Heels on; I wore a dress for you. I said a prayer for you. I unpinned my hair for you. I crossed my legs for you. I am silent for you and you…, well you look beautiful all the time and I know that beautiful is a woman’s word but you are beautiful…

5. You catch me staring. My eyes bleeding through you pleading with the universe to ‘touch not my anointing and do my prophets no harm’…

6. Did I say that I too was magic? and that I’m just trying to make your valley of dry bones live…I’m just trying to hum you the (somme?)that has taken up residence in the scar of my C-section and climb the ladder of your spine…I’m trying to put the collage back into your knees…Brother, I would clean my house for you, run in the rain for you…I mean, do you know what happens to a black girl’s hair in the rain? but this is not about pride or greed or lust or envy but about sacrifice and sacrifice alone; Did I say that I was from a different breed of magicians?

7. Promise me that you would not promise things a man should not unless he is in fact a man; example: Do not promise me your heart, your last name, monogamy, poetry; Do not promise me the truth and then lie cause I will set your valley of dry bones on fire; Did I say that I was from a different breed of magicians?

8. Women are silly and emotional. If in fact you find a woman that is serious and emotionless, she is insane.

9. Do you remember how small you felt the first time you stood beside the ocean? How the mist from the waves wrapped around your neck like the hands of a former lover; The breaking tide against your forehead; The massage it gave your brows; Well, I’ve got those hands. Long fingers that would stagger around your eyes. I tell you the smell is a mixture of want and need and salt and tears like ocean and lake; a sea of (wet?), I swear to God, I hope that I remind you of water, of purity, of baptism.

10. You can swim…can’t you?