I have known Mariam for almost three years now and she is just one of those people that I think I was destined to meet. We clicked right from the start and we understand each other so much. I can’t really stay mad at her no matter how much I try. I have seen her go through a lot and its just nice to hear her story. Please take your time and read.
WHO AM I?
As I lay down here, it’s seems as though it’s a heartbeat away from dawn so I’m listening to zombies in the dark, to ease the pain of the mind. If you think in depth that should be self explanatory enough.
I used to love to persuade myself to believe that I was a grounded well behaved God fearing little angel. Well actually I’m a mile end away from that.
One thing I’ve come to learn is that who I am is no longer important as I was unknowingly born into a self imposing world along with it’s back breaking ridiculous expectations.
I mean I have been defined by the basic guidelines of the expectations of a typical African family and mistake me not I appreciate it. But I have come to realise that my wings are a mile away from take off and this is because life wouldn’t simply let me be.
It is important to note that this is from someone that maybe be perceived as mildly perfect which I must say is rare and I acknowledge the positive effects of my perceived edge. So basically I’m a beauty with brains but without the academic backing.
It’s hard to understand how such an apparently beautiful girl that can make a room halt in silence and applaud her very speech and respect her sense of reasoning constantly finds herself in battle with her academic demons. I call this my academic battle with life, trust me I’m no Hercules in this battle field and I am no longer ashamed to say it. So I have been tagged the bad one because I struggle with school.
Please understand me perfectly I totally appreciate the values and essence of education and it baffles me as I don’t get the hang of it after more than 15 years of being in this beautiful system. So today I’ve decided to declare that I hereby refuse to be tagged an academic criminal because I know there’s so much more to me.
I am a beautiful nice young lady that goes the extra mile to see my neighbour smile and to be honest and if that doesn’t count for nothing then I refuse to be a zombie gradually losing her senses and internal beauty to failure.
Today though I have nothing to show for it and yes, I am grateful for my failures because they have opened my mind to many other avenues of survival, maybe marrying rich ( lol jokes ).
On a serious note I believe in my self and I have come to realise to not be a zombie you have to fight to prove yourself and that’s a battle I’m willing to take on.
So this pretty little miss with her cute little butt is no longer going to be defined by the system but now she can simply be rendered to as the lady trying to be happy. And that’s genuinely what I want to live my life for. My future henceforth be my definition.
So, you ask me Who I am? Well the answer is simple.
I AM MARIAM