Vulnerability Is My Bitch
Once upon a time, I used to be afraid of how vulnerable I was. People and society made me believe that vulnerability equalled weakness and it carried on being a burden for me.
I used to wish that I was one of those people that could completely carry on with life while blocking off all my emotions. However, I just couldn’t block out my feelings. I had to cry and I had to be weak. Not releasing my emotions made me very toxic. And normally, I have problems reacting to anger. I don’t exactly know how to express my anger and that already, makes me a toxic person. So, think of how dangerous and how acidic I can be when I have repressed emotions and repressed anger.
Recently,I grew to understand that vulnerability wasn’t weakness. Vulnerability is strength. Do you know how strong you have to be to be vulnerable? Do you know how strong you have to be to have to accept being emotionally out-there? Literally, it means that you can handle the humiliation that comes with it. You can accept that you have to be weak to be strong.
My vulnerability is what makes me passionate and being passionate about something is the most beautiful thing in the world. I am not afraid to be the vulnerable one in the relationship. I am not embarrassed when my friends say, ‘Dolly is too emotional’.Nahh. Maybe before, I was. But now, I carry it with pride because I know that I get to live life.
You don’t have to agree with me. No one has to. However, that’s the way I have chosen to view life. I get to experience these things. I get to experience the pain that comes with heartbreak, betrayal and all of that and I know that when I am done feeling that pain, I AM DONE.
I believe that people need to show their emotions, no matter what it is – sadness, pain, anger and all that jazz because it is what makes us stronger.
Don’t be like me and repress your anger. I am trying to deal with that. However, I advice ya’ll to express anything that you feel. It is what makes life worth it.