TOXIC

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I loved him
I really did
Hard to believe now from where I stand
But it is for this reason that I did what I did
I gave him the best part of me
And even the parts that I was afraid of showing to the world,
I showed to him because
I really did believe that he loved me too
And he will never hurt me
I envisioned a life with him

Until the day I saw the text messages
And everything became a lie.
Not only had he broken my heart,
He had taken my memories too.
He had robbed me of everything.

But I stayed because I believed him when he said he had changed
I believed him when he said he will never hurt me
But time and time again
He broke me.

So many lies
So many women
Why couldn’t he just let me go?
Why did he have to put me through this pain
Over and over again?

I became so numb
And my pain
My pain….robbed me of every joy
I knew I didn’t deserve this sort of pain
But I didn’t know if I could get any better

I honestly didn’t mean to do it
I didn’t mean to kill him
I didn’t mean to see life drain from his eyes when I plunged the knife into him
I loved him..I just snapped
I wanted to release the pain and he was just there
Taunting me with his lies
Telling me he loved me when I knew he didn’t
And I couldn’t take it any more
I just couldn’t…

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