On valentine’s day, I received a message from my sister in the morning informing me that a mate of mine in secondary school had passed. The crazy thing was that the night before, I dreamt that a different mate of mine had died. Waking up and hearing that made me feel…well, to be honest, I was in denial for a very long time.
I did not want to believe it so I pretended like it wasn’t real…it wasn’t true. Expressing my feelings have proved difficult for me recently – I don’t know why – and so sometimes, I don’t want to admit that something crazy is happening because I don’t want to have to deal with it.
Eventually, I came out of that denial phase. You know they say that there are five stages of grief – Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression & Acceptance. My anger phase did not last very long and so right now, I think I’m at Bargaining.
Now yesterday, I read that a girl that I just watched on the previous cycle of America’s Next Top Model had been murdered in her home along with her boyfriend and a third person. She was just shot dead.
Now see, it really hit close to home for me because these two girls – though I don’t know the other personally – are my age mates. Like we were born in the same year and I can’t help but re-think.
I have realised that I take the little things for granted. I wake up in the morning and I think its a normal thing, like it’s not possible to die in my sleep. The truth is I could die. I could walk out of my room into the street and get hit by a car. So, I have decided to try to not take the little things for granted. I am learning to appreciate every single moment because tomorrow is not promised.
I was at the gym last night and my phone fell and the screen cracked really bad. Then, on my way home from the gym, my coat belt fell along the way and I didn’t realise it until I got home. Now see, I was genuinely upset about this but I realised that there are bigger problems in the world and I decided not to dwell on it because I will just get more upset.
Don’t get me wrong, I still think about these little things but I’m deciding not to let these little things ruin my day. I try my best to tell those I love that I love them.
We should appreciate life more because we are on borrowed time and sometimes, in this fast-paced world, it is easy to forget that but when we remember, we should appreciate it. Also, remember to tell those you love that you love them as much as you possibly can and be thankful to God for every new day.
R.I.P Zainab and Mirjana.
R.I.P to the departed.