When I was younger, I had a lot of flaws. I was the oldest in my family but I seemed to learn things a little slower. For example, I used to wear my shoes the wrong way whilst my younger sister – who is about a year and seven months younger than me – seemed to wear her shoes right. My younger brother was still a toddler, so even if he got it wrong, it wasn’t so much of a worry.
Then, I cried a lot for the tiniest reasons. If i did not hear from my mum every two hours, I got really nervous. I started getting this really bad images that she was in an accident or worse dead and I would cry and cry. There was even a time that I left the house on my own to go to a call centre to call my mum because we did not have any minutes on the home phone. I remember a moment when I only took 20 naira with me and the call cost 50 naira, The man took pity on me because he knew I was a kid so he let me go home.
Whilst all this was going on, something really terrible happened to me that I can’t go into but it really made me look at myself in a really bad way. At the time, I didn’t know that it caused my insecurities but being older now, I realise that it contributed to my insecurities. I was a chubby kid and I didn’t see myself as beautiful and I started getting pimples at the age of eight. It carried on to secondary school and I just couldn’t stare at the girl in the mirror. I felt like an object. This was coupled with the fact that I was terrible at even doing make up and that I am also a little weird. Lol. No jokes but I had a lot of insecurities.
I am 19 years old now and i see the world differently. I still have my insecurities every now and then but I have learned to embrace some of them. I am no more chubby. My weight goes up and down though like every normal woman my age but even then, I learn to embrace it whilst working on it. I am learning to grow and see myself for who I am. Sometimes, I look at the mirror and I still don’t like what I see but those days are a lot smaller compared to the days I feel good about myself. i have embraced the little quirkiness i have because who wants to be normal anyway? Lol. And I have found ways to help me feel good about myself.
We all have insecurities. They aren’t easy but our flaws and insecurities bring out the real beauty in us. So, let’s just embrace them and see the beauty in ourselves.