Rape IS NEVER OKAY
So, I watched the new season of Orange is The New Black this weekend. I loved it as always and the new character, Stella Carlin played by Ruby Rose is probably one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen in my life and I could not take my eyes off her. It is one of my favourite shows because it shows life from a woman’s perspective. It shows the different hardships that women have to go through and how far they are willing to go to survive and to protect those that they love.
I loved the different storylines but one stuck out to me and it broke my heart. The storyline of Pennsatuckey was one of sadness and my heart broke for her. I had never really understood her character but this season opened my eyes. From the moment she had started to see her period, her mum made her believe that sex was something she owed to a man. Her mum made her believe that it wasn’t necessarily something to enjoy and she should just let them have it. They will be ‘in and out’ and it will be over.
She carried this lesson to her youth and of course, she never saw sex as an enjoyable thing. She saw it as a means to get other things and so men would abuse her and she just saw it as the norm. Until she met a boy. A boy who changed her and made her see that sex is not something to hate. He actually showed her how to enjoy sex and how to derive pleasure from it and not just something that she needs to do to go through life. He eventually moved away and it was back to the ‘norm’ with her and men.
In this season, she became really friendly with one of the new guards. At first, it seemed like he really liked her and she liked him too. He did not demand anything from her and he always bought her donuts and ice-cream. There was a scene where she thought she had to give him a handjob so that she can get some ice-cream from him and he told her that he did not want anything from her. If she wanted anything, all she had to was ask. This made her like hm even more and then he decided to show his true nature. He raped her and she did not even scream but her face broke my heart.
Fortunately, she had a friend, Big Boo who she could talk to and Big boo made her understand that what he did was not right because prior to this, Pennsatuckey did not think he did anything wrong. She believed it was her fault; that she provoked him and in my heart, I said: “That does not give him any right.”
Big Boo wanted to exact revenge on him and they were both very close to doing so. They drugged him and wanted to stick a mop stick up his ass and i would admit, I was all for it. She still didn’t want to do it and Big Boo kept telling her to express her rage and then she said, :”I don’t have rage, I’m just sad.” and at this point, I shed a tear.
They never did anything to him and Pennsatuckey found a way to get out of doing van duty with him. However, they forgot that, if she couldn’t do it, they would put another girl with him. Another girl that he would possibly rape and he would continue doing so until someone speaks out.
I just..I cannot understand the reasoning of a man who thinks that raping a woman somehow makes him a man or makes him strong. I am here to tell any man who has this mentality that you are not strong. All you are, is a coward. This might have just been a show but this happens in real life everyday. Some man thinks it is okay to rape a woman and he would get away with it. It is NEVER okay. No matter the circumstance.
I just want to say that we, women have to stand up for ourselves. We have to support each other. Rape is a traumatising thing to go through and the worst part is, more often than not, it happens by people that are known to the victims. We need to speak out more against things like this. It cannot continue to happen amongst us.
To my dear women who have gone through this trauma, I want to say that I respect you because you have gone through this and survived. This doesn’t define you and you can always come back from this. Please speak to someone you trust about what you have gone through. Don’t suffer in silence. As women, our voice is important and that is why many are intimidated by us. We have a right to own our bodies and our sexualities. No one is allowed to take it from us. No one is allowed to make us do what we don’t want to do. Keep on being strong, beautiful women and May God continue to always be with us.