This last weekend, i went to Brighton to celebrate the 21st birthday of one of my closest friends. It was a fun weekend and all of my closest friends from secondary school were around which made it a wonderful weekend. It’s amazing how we have grown. I met all of them at the start of secondary school in 2005 and then we were so young – 9/10/11 – and now we are becoming full grown women.
Anyway, while I was there, we were preparing to go for dinner on Sunday and one of my friends was helping me do some bantu knots on my hair to make it curly since I decided to go natural. As I was staring at the mirror while she was doing this, I thought back to about five years ago. Five years ago, I was so adamant about cutting my hair. I used to say that no matter how bad my hair became, I would never cut it. No one could have paid me then to cut my hair – well, if someone had offered me a good sum, maybe I might have considered Lol -. I was so sure that cutting my hair would not be a path I would ever take, let alone going natural.
Cut to three years later, I finally made a decision in the summer of 2013 to cut my hair. In fact, it had been something that I had been thinking about for almost a year before I was finally bold enough and got my mother’s blessings to do it. It is amazing how much a person can change in a few years and how decisions that you thought you would never take become a reality.
I have changed and grown so much as a person. These last two years have been the absolute worst of my entire life. The things I have been through, the decisions I have made, I never thought I would have to make them five years ago. I never thought I would ever be put in positions that I have been put in. I used to judge people that had to make some of the decisions I have made. It has been hard. So hard. However, despite the fact that I wish some of the things I have gone through never happened, I’m appreciative of the fact that it was necessary for me to grow as a person. At the start of uni in 2013, I was so naïve. I was 17 and thought that as a good person, bad things would not happen to me. How stupid I was!
Now, I’m 19 and by God’s grace, I finish uni this December and I am not the same girl that walked into this place. I still make stupid decisions everyday because I am still growing. I have made great decisions, okay decisions and really really bad decisions that I have beat myself time and time again for making. However, its all part of growth and I really hope and pray that those decisions don’t define me and that I get a second chance to live life and enjoy it.