I am 7193 days old today. I learned recently that the average life span of human beings is 28000 days. Realising that made me rethink my life a little bit about how I have spent the last 7192 days. An event that I witnessed a long time ago came to mind. When I was about three years old, I witnessed a funeral.
The woman that was being buried was called Aunty Betty. Aunty Betty, from what I remember, was the headmistress or owner of my school at the time. She was a really nice lady. My parents liked her a lot and I liked being around her. Then one day, she was not around anymore.
I remember my mum saying “Aunty Betty has died” in a very sombre tone. I did not really understand it until the day of the funeral. That day, I felt like I was given a heavy dose of reality. When I watch movies or TV shows, parents explain the concept of death to their children in a very subtle way. They say things like: “She/he has gone to heaven.” That was not the case for me. I was made to understand what death was at a very early age.
Anyway, the funeral was held somewhere. I can’t really remember. Anyway, as the hearse approached, my mum took me (can’t remember if my siblings were with me at this point) to see it.I do not know why she did that. However, I don’t think she meant any harm. However, I was not informed about what I was about to see. I was told that they were bringing Aunty Betty. No one told me that I would see a coffin up close. Anyway, the hearse approached and they brought out the coffin and I burst into tears. I was wailing. I was afraid. That coffin was not Aunty Betty – at least, not the Aunty Betty I remember.
Anyway, my mum took me away from there. As they were doing the funeral in some chapel, we passed by it and I remember my mum saying that Aunty Betty died from Fibroids. It was a very sad day. I have never forgotten it.
The point of this story is that I am familiar with the concept of death. I have always known about it. I know that it is something that happens to every human eventually. So, you would think that I would learn how to live my life and enjoy it to the fullest. However, for the most part, i have always been afraid. I am always afraid of moving forward. Always afraid of what my future holds. Especially now. I am 7193 days old (19 years), finishing my degree at the end of the year and I have no idea what the future holds and I am scared.
I should not be afraid. I am trying not to be. However, there are so many people that I am trying not to disappoint and I am afraid that I would do just that. I don’t want to be scared. I should live my life and take each day as it comes and leave the future in the hands of God.
I am just trying to learn this.
Life is to damn short.
Photo Source: Style Honestly