Another One in the Bag

Hi guys,

So, I have some good news to share today. As of Wednesday, I am officially an MBA degree holder and I am so happy and so joyful and so many other happy adjectives. Lol. For the last couple of weeks, I was extremely nervous about my results. I thought I was going to fail and I did not even share it on here because I did not want to jinx it.

I wanted to get a Merit. For a Master’s degree, there is distinction, merit, pass and fail. I really wanted to get a Merit. I would have aimed for a Distinction but I knew that my grades were not good enough for a distinction so I was hoping that my dissertation would be amazing and it would bring me up to a Merit. I did not want to get anything below that. Anything below that would have not made me happy.

I was really scared about my dissertation. I worked really hard on it and it seemed like the universe was against me a lot of the time. I was going through personal drama with my relationship; I had an accident which completely messed up my mental state and I am so hard on myself. I always tend to believe the worst about myself which is wrong and I am trying to change but most times, I can’t help it.

Throughout last year, I constantly kept on asking myself why I was doing an MBA. I told myself that I know nothing about business. This is not my area. Everyone else knew more than I did. Everyone else was doing better than I was and I cried a lot because I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop many times. I cried so many times about it. But God had my back the entire time.

When I saw my result on Wednesday, I was overjoyed. To begin with, I got 68% on my dissertation which is just 2% from a distinction. I could not even believe it. I am telling you that I was hoping for 60% and I did not even think I would get that. So, when I saw that score and I saw that I had gotten a Merit for my degree, I got on my knees and I said a big ‘thank you’ to God.

He deserves all the glory for this. Not I. He saw me through and I am crying tears of joy right now because I do not deserve all that God does for me but he does it anyhow. I am so grateful to God and I am so thankful for all his grace and his mercy because I don’t deserve it to me. Jesus is just bae. Lol

I am thankful to my parents especially my mum who shouldered all the burdens of my education from A’Levels to now. That is a lot of money and a lot of time but my mother would rather wear rags than seeing us not go to school. My mum and I have our disagreements but she is an exceptional woman who I admire everyday for her strength. She did it all for me and I am beyond grateful.

You guys, I don’t say this often but I am proud of myself. So proud and so happy. I have been in such a trance since Wednesday just trying to process it all; that’s why I haven’t blogged since then but I am grateful.

To all my friends, who heard me complain and cry and were just there for me through it all, you guys are the absolute best. I believe I have the most amazing friends in the world. Even my siblings who did their best to encourage me. I love you all.

Thank you guys. Thank you for letting me share myself with you; for listening, for being such wonderful people, I have nothing to give but I pray for God’s blessings on your life always.

❤️

Homemade Cheesy Hot Dogs

Okay, so I decided to share a recipe with you guys today. I have been making these hot dogs for a couple of months now. It is a lazy meal to make. I make them when I am extremely hungry but I don’t feel like cooking. I’m no Martha Stewart but I can figure my way around a kitchen. I hope you like it because I like it a lot and you can get everything you need for about £5 so it’s cost-efficient also. Anyway, let’s get into this shall we.

You will need:

. Hot dog Rolls

. Frankfurters

. Butter

. Onion

. Grated cheese

. Salt/Maggi

.Pepper

 

What You Need To Do

  1. Grill the frankfurters in your oven for about 4-5 minutes depending on how hot it is. When this done, remove and place on a plate.
  2. While grilling your frankfurters, slice the onions on a chopping board.
  3. Place a frying pan on the cooker and set it to medium heat.
  4. Put a tablespoon of butter in the pan until it melts and add the sliced onions to it.
  5. Sprinkle a cube of maggi or a pinch of salt on the onions and also sprinkle some pepper.
  6. Sauteé the onions for about two minutes or until the onions are soft.
  7. Heat the oven to about 180 degrees or higher if you want it done faster.
  8. Slice the hot dog rolls open and spread a little butter in them. Place the frankfurters in the hot dog rolls. Add some of the onions and sprinkle some of the grated cheese on top.
  9. Put the hot dogs into the oven for about 5 minutes to allow the cheese to melt and to make the hot dog rolls toastier. Lol if that’s a word.
  10. Enjoy!

 

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Okay, so I realise that this is not the best recipe in the world; it’s kind of an amateur recipe but I’m sure you guys get the gist. This is not a healthy meal. Lol. It is greasy and fatty but it’s also so delicious. If you have any questions about it, you can ask me in the comments.

Love you all. 🙂

Celebrating 4 Years – Most Viewed Blog Posts

Hi ya’ll,

So, four years ago, I started this blog. At the time I was 17 years old and I was looking for a way to express myself. When I first started this blog, for those that have been here since the beginning, it wasn’t called ‘Dolly Writes’. As a matter of fact, because of how lost I felt as a young girl then, I wanted my blog url to express that so it was called diaryofalostteen.wordpress.com.

After a while, I started to realise that the name was a bit elementary and it didn’t represent who I was anymore as I stopped being a teenager. So I changed to it to belleamenoire.wordpress.com. This was French for beautiful dark soul. Soon after, I wanted to change my blog name to something that I would never change again and I settled on dollywrites.com.

So much has changed in the last four years. If you look at my very first post and you look at my latest posts, you will definitely know that I have definitely grown up. I have shared so much and every post is like a time portal, taking me back to who I used to be when I wrote those posts.

I have been fortunate to have amazing people from all parts of the world reading my blog. It humbles me and I am not close to how far I want to get but I know that eventually I will get there and I am in no rush.

Thank you to everyone who has ever read a post from me. Thank you for showing me love and just being amazing. I am also thankful to God of course for giving me the will power to still have this after all this time and I look forward to the future.

So, to celebrate this journey, I went back to pick the 10 most viewed posts on my blog till date and I hope you enjoy going down memory lane with me.

10. The Day I wanted to Kill Myself : Written 10th January, 2016

I am definitely at a much better place in my life but for a long time, I was really really depressed and I wanted to use this post just to encourage and reach out to others going through the same thing that no matter how hard we fall, we can always get back up.

9. I love you but…: Written 13th May, 2013

I had just finished watching For Colored Girls for the umpteenth time when I wrote this. That movie always gets to me and I was inspired to write this afterwards. This is one of my favourite posts from my early writing days.

8. For Bi Kelly: Written 11th March, 2013

I had a really amazing teacher once called Bi Kelly. She was a woman that really touched the lives of those that knew her and when she died it was just really sad. I am tearing up a little even writing this. Anyway, the day I wrote this, I was just thinking about her and this was my way of expressing that.

7. Why I Don’t Love my Fiancé: Reblogged on 13th February, 2014

Okay, so I read about this post on Michael J. Pittman’s blog. At the time, he was about to get married to his wife, Amanda and he basically wrote this amazing love story about how he is determined to love her as Christ loves his church. It was so beautiful to see especially seeing as he is such a young guy and so, I shared it on my blog as it is just beautiful.

6. Let’s Have Tea, Shall We?: Written 16th May, 2015

This was just a quirky post about my love for tea. Whenever I feel down, tea just somehow makes me feel better and I wanted to share that with you guys.

5. Change and You: Written 3rd February, 2015

This was just a post that was just discussing change in people. Some of the things I wrote about are that you can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change and you shouldn’t change your beliefs for someone else.

4. WHO AM I? – AKUNNA: Posted 8th August, 2014

So, in the summer of 2014, I did a series called WHO AM I? I got a couple of friends and writers to write about on themselves and what has made them who they are. They had complete freedom to write it and interpret it however they liked and I posted each one day by day for about a week. It was probably the most amazing thing that I have ever done on this blog. Anyway, my lovely friend and writer, Akunna, wrote this for this series and it was amazing. Almost as amazing as she is!

3. WHO AM I? – TOMI: Posted 9th August, 2014

So, this was also a part of the series. My dear friend and writer, Tomi did such a kick-ass job in writing it and it was loved by so many people. Read it and you will not regret it.

2. Rape is Never Okay: Written 15th June, 2015

So, I had just finished watching Season 3 of Orange is the New Black and there was one story that just touched my hearts in so many ways that I decided to write on it. It might have been based on the show but the lessons are real. Rape is Never Okay under any circumstances.

1. 10 Things I Want to Say to a Black Man: Posted 2nd June, 2014

So, I posted this amazing video of spoken word poetry by an amazing woman called Falu. This poetry gave me so much life and I had to share it. Yes, it is just as amazing as you think it is. Please, check it out.

So, this is it. My top 10 most viewed posts on this blog. It is definitely such a blessing to be able to write and I do not take it for granted. Thanks to all of you for keeping me going and I cannot wait to keep on moving forward. I love you all and God bless you.

Dating a man with kids

So, I just finished talking to a friend of mine who told me a very interesting story. She told me about a friend of hers who met a dude and he seemed amazing. He was such a nice guy and she was so happy that she told everyone about him. After a while, she couldn’t reach him anymore. He started to act real funny and she did not understand why he was acting that way.

After a couple of months, he messaged her and told her that the reason why he was acting strange was because he had a one-year old son. I screamed. Now, this guy is still trying to get with her even after keeping this hugeeeee secret away from her.

See, this is the kind of stuff that I don’t like. Why do guys lie like this? Now, he keeps on sending pictures of his kid to her and my question is, for what?

Listen, in this day and age it is not strange to meet single mothers and fathers. However, you should let your potential partner know these things. Personally speaking, I do not want to date a guy with kids especially a guy that has kids under the age of 8. Now, these are my reasons.

Dating a guy that has children comes with a lot of responsibilities especially when the kids are young. For one, you are taking on a responsibility to be a step-parent to that kid. There is nothing wrong with that but you have to be ready to take on that responsibility and I do not believe I am ready for that. Secondly, you have to deal with the child’s mother. There are a lot of good baby mamas in the world but there are some nasty ones as well. I have watched way too many reality shows to see that if you are going to date a guy with kids, you will have to deal with that. Therefore, you have to be prepared for that as well.

Now, the last thing I want is to be put in a situation that I did not anticipate. If a guy wants to date me and he has kids, be honest about it. Do not lie. Not only will you be a complete asshole for lying but it also goes to show how selfish you are as a human being. Your child should come first and if you are ashamed to tell a potential partner about this huge part of your life, how am I ever supposed to believe anything that comes out of your mouth?

It is so disappointing to hear cases like this these days because a lot of women are just looking for the right guy. So, it sucks that when they think that they have found the right guy, he pulls a fast one on them.

Just tell the truth. If I meet a guy that has kids and he is honest about it and I still decide to date him, then our relationship has started on a great foundation. Why would you allow the relationship to go a certain distance before you tell the truth? You want someone to be able to date you for every part of you not just for the parts you wish to show.

This is why we have to keep our eyes open and just keep on praying because these things keep on happening everyday.

I’m not taking down my Christmas tree until the end of the month

Lol.

The holidays are really over. My mum left this morning to head back home to Nigeria so, I am heading back to Buckingham today. I enjoyed my Christmas holidays. It was really drama-free and I was so glad about that. It was nice to hang out with family and there was a lot of laughter this holiday which was awesome.

However, I cannot wait to be home by myself again. It is nothing personal but I really enjoy my own space. I am a loner of some sorts. I like having people around every now and again but I really value my privacy a whole lot so, it is nice to be going back.

I am also going to take up a lot of shifts with my temp agency because I really need to save up some money. This Buhari-nomics has not been kind to us Nigerians and even though I’m here in the UK, it has affected us a whole lot. So, I really need the money.

Anyway, I know that a lot of people have started to take down their Christmas decorations but I have decided not to do that until the end of the month. Lol. Call it tacky or whatever, I am still not taking it down yet and I’ll tell you why.

This was my first flat and after the accident in November, I was just so grateful to God that I got off with a minor injury and so, I wanted to really enjoy my Christmas. So, I bought a Christmas tree, some tree decorations and lights to make the flat look Christmassy. I really just wanted it to reek of cheer. Lol. However, I did not get to enjoy it enough because I had to come to London for the holidays. So, I still really want to enjoy this moment because my contract will run out soon and I will be moving out and I really don’t know the next time I will have a place to myself to be able to do this.

So, even though I know that it is a bit much leaving Christmas decorations up that long, I want to enjoy them a little while longer and I think that is okay. Right? Let me know what you think.

Chasing Cars

Okay. So ya’lll know the drill. I wrote this a while ago but I added some finishing touches to it last night. After writing it, there was a song that came to my mind and I thought I would add it on as well. Hope you like it!

 

If I could gather up all the tears I ever cried for you

I’m sure it would fill an ocean

If I could count all the times you broke my heart

I’d never stop counting

If I could count all the times I wanted to hurt myself,

lose myself, end myself, just so that you would notice,

just so that you’d look at me and see that I’m here

you still wouldn’t notice.

My love,

I gave you everything

All the parts of me that I was proud of

and the parts that made me ashamed.

I tried to do everything, be everything

but that never seemed enough.

Then, I just stopped trying

because there was nothing more that I could do.

There was no more fight in me.

I was literally chasing air

There was no way I could ever catch you.

So, I picked up what was left of my dignity, of my pride

and decided that it was time to stop chasing.

 

You’re like a dog chasing a car. You’ll never catch it and you just wouldn’t know what to do with it if you did.

  • Jack Lightbody