Today, I wanted to speak on something that is very important to me – my spiritual journey; more specifically – my journey with God.
So, recently, I have made my spiritual life more of a priority but it wasn’t always that way.
I grew up going to church. Since, I became aware of myself, my family and I always went to church. We went every Sunday and we went for fellowships on Sunday evenings. When I turned 5/6/7 years old (can’t exactly remember the age), one of our teachers in church started a Bible club at her house. Actually, I’m not sure if she just started it or she started it a while ago but she was doing it at her house anyway and my siblings, some of my friends and I started going there.
Basically, I spent my life doing all the things that I thought I had to do as a Christian but without really understanding it or knowing what it really meant. Even when I was in secondary school, I spent my time doing all those things till the moment where I became Christian Worship Prefect. Not to say I never believed but it didn’t completely made sense to me and it was easy to whine and complain and blame God when things went left.
And things went left…
In 2014, when I was in uni., I went through this deep depression phase. I had always been in and out of depression but this was more serious. I was dating a guy who I really loved and when he broke my heart and kept breaking it, it just triggered this really bad time in my life. All through 2014, 2015 and almost all of 2016, I was really depressed. I had suicidal thoughts. There was a moment where I attempted. Basically, life was real shitty.
Then something changed. Halfway through 2016, I started to see the beauty of life in some way. It wasn’t anything specific and it wasn’t like I hadn’t ever before. It’s just that I started to feel like everything will be okay. Then I had an accident and that was like the first wave. The second wave came days later when I read the book that Toke Makinwa wrote. Even though the book was on relationships, something in me clicked.
The accident and the book for some reason made me want to know God in a different way than I did before. So, I decided to understand God more – His love, His peace, His kindness and His sacrifice.
Since then. I have been on a path of knowing God more. It has been great and while there have been moments of doubts and I am in no way close to perfection, God has been faithful and patient with me and loving me through the process.
While I still have moments of depression every now and then, I know that I can depend on God and that He is there for me.
This journey is one that I have decided to take for the rest of my life and my hope and my prayer is to keep on growing in the faith and in the spirit.
I felt moved to share this story as a sort of testimony. If only one person resonates with this story, then it would have been worth it.
As times goes on, I’ll keep on sharing updates on my journey and I hope you will still be here then.
Till then my darlings.
Stay blessed always.