Dolly Writes

Journey of a growing woman

Month: August, 2017

Music: His Eye is on the sparrow

Hi guys,

So, as you I mentioned in an earlier post, I have been feeling very stressed lately and one of the things I do when I’m stressed – or when I’m feeling any kind of emotion really – is to listen to music. I downloaded Jahméne Douglas Love Never Fails via Apple Music and one song that really touched my soul was his version of His Eye is on the Sparrow. Giving the way I was feeling, that song really had my spirit feeling really good. I could not find his album version on Youtube but I found Lauryn Hill and Tanya Boult’s version – which is from Sister’s Act –  that is just as awesome. I hope you love it just as much as I do.

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I got baptised yesterday

Hey guys,

So I wanted to share something amazing with you all. I got baptised yesterday. I had been thinking about getting baptised for a while. I was born into the Anglican Church and so when I was born my parents got me baptised in the church – which (because I was a baby) involved sprinkling water on my face.

And for a long time I was okay with that. However, ever since I started on a new spiritual relationship with God, I have wanted to make a conscious decision to be baptised. So, I applied for it in my church and for a moment, I had forgotten about it because I hadn’t heard anything back but about a week ago, I got a text from my church inviting me to come for the baptism class and then take part in the baptism on the 25th – which was yesterday.

So, I went for the baptism class and I got baptised yesterday. It was really wonderful. I had a friend of mine, Rebecca there with me. It was such a wonderful feeling you guys. I told myself that I would not try to force my feelings about it but honestly and truly, I felt so good. It really was something beautiful and honestly, what I felt can’t really be put into words.

I am so glad thatI did this. It was remarkable and I just wanted to share this with you. Thank you guys for always being here.

God bless.

Love,

Dolly7

Stress

So, for the past couple of days, I have been feeling really stressed. You know, I had an accident last November (I am much better now, Thank God) and I had to get lawyers to help with the compensation. Since then, the case has just been longer than I anticipated and now that it is coming down to the wire, it has just become a whole lot more stressful.

Even thinking about it makes me tired. I don’t have to go to court or anything but going back and forth between the lawyers and my mum has just been too much for me. Anyway, apart from praying, I decided to look for something that would make me feel a bit better and I came across this quote by Steve Maraboli that shifted my perspective a little bit and I thought I’d share it with you guys.

I promise you nothing is as chaotic as it seems. Nothing is worth diminishing your health. Nothing is worth poisoning yourself into stress, anxiety, and fear.

So, this helped me feel a little better because truly there is so much more to life than for me to sit here stressing over this daily. If you are going through a stressful time, I hope this changes your perspective on it and I am praying for you.

Love,

Dolly xx

 

Photo: Gildshire

The Book of Ruth

I’m baaacckkkkk!

Hey beautiful people,

Hope you are all doing well! I am finished with the Book of Ruth. It was a very short book – 4 chapters – so I completed it within two days. You know, the story of Ruth has always been one of Loyalty and Love. I have always admired Ruth for her gentle spirit and her bravery and her loyalty. I think Ruth is a very strong character and it was nice to read her story once again.

At the start of the story, we are given a backgrounder on who Ruth is. There was a man named Elimelech who was married to a woman named Naomi and they moved from Judah to Moab. They had two sons named Mahlon and Chilion. They married two Moabite women named Orpah and Ruth. Unfortunately, Elimelech as well as his two sons died. So, Naomi was left all alone and she decided to return to Judah with her daughters-in-law. However, on the way, Naomi realised that she did not want to be in the way of their future and so she told them to go back. Orpah went back with Naomi’s blessings but Ruth decided to go with her. Ruth  said in Ruth 1: 16-17 (GNT):

 “Don’t ask me to leave you! Let me go with you. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.

Wherever you die, I will die, and that is where I will be buried. May the Lord‘s worst punishment come upon me if I let anything but death1.17: anything but death; or even death. separate me from you!”

If that isn’t loyalty, I don’t know what is. Ruth decided that she was going to be a part of Naomi’s life and to also believe in the God of Israel. And God had a plan for her.

When they got to Israel, Ruth decided that in order to get food for herself and Naomi, she would go to the fields and pick up heads of grain that the workers left behind. Somehow, she found herself in Boaz’s field where she ended up meeting Boaz. I believe that this meeting was pre-destined. To cut a long story short, Boaz was a good man who was good to his family as well as his workers and when Ruth asked if he would be her husband, he went through the proper channels to ensure that he could marry her without any problems and after everything was sorted, he took her as his wife. And by doing so, Ruth became the great-grandmother of Israel’s greatest king. Ruth 4:17-22 (GNT):

This is the family line from Perez to David: Perez, Hezron, Ram, Amminadab, Nahshon, Salmon, Boaz, Obed, Jesse, David.

This is the family line from Perez to David: Perez, Hezron, Ram, Amminadab, Nahshon, Salmon, Boaz, Obed, Jesse, David

There are times in life when we want things to go a certain way and we get frustrated when they don’t because everything starts to seem out of our control. The truth is that in most cases, our plans do not align with God’s plans. So, when those times come, it is always better to give into his plans because he has more in store for us than we could have ever possibly imagined. We just have to believe and hope in His plan for us.

I hope that you enjoyed reading this post just as much as I enjoyed writing it to you. I’m sorry this is late. I have spent about two days trying to compose this post so please bear with me. All Glory be to God for His compassion and His grace and His strength.

I started 1 Samuel yesterday and so far, I am really enjoying it. I love this part of the Bible a lot so it is a joy. Thank you for always being here. I’ll write when I’m done with 1 Samuel.

Till then my darlings,

God Bless. xx

Love,

Dolly

 

 

Music: Reflecting Light

Happy Saturday beautiful people…

I love to share some of the music I love with you guys because music is so powerful to me. Ever since I was a kid, music has always spoken to me in ways that pure speech can’t. Music understands. Music cares. Music evokes emotion. Music reaches down to your soul and there is always a piece of music that reflects however you are feeling.

So, today the music that I am sharing with you today is one that always makes me feel love anytime I hear it. If you are a fan of Gilmore Girls, then you will know Sam Phillips’ Reflecting Light all too well. This song just carries the feeling of love in it. There is just something about it – the words, the voice, the instruments – that just makes it sound so beautiful. I have been singing the song all week and I wanted to transfer this feeling to ya’ll cause I love you.

Hope you love it as much as I do.

Have a lovely weekend. xx

The Book of Judges

Back at it again with the back at it again.

I am very pleased to say that I finished with the Book of Judges today. I enjoyed reading it a lot. There were stories there that I was familiar with but hadn’t read in a long long time and so I was happy to read it with fresh eyes and a new perspective. There were also some stories that I did not know anything about and I was happy to learn about them as well. Isn’t God good? Anyway, let’s get to talking!

  1. Decide for yourself to serve God: There was something that was very prevalent in the book of Judges. Whenever the people had someone leading them, they always served God but as soon as the person died, they turned away from God. On a personal level, I could somewhat relate to this. You know, up until late last year/early this year, whenever I went to church or did anything Christian, it was because I felt like I had to do it or because I was told to do it. Don’t get me wrong, its not like I don’t love God, it’s just that I didn’t understand it as much. Now, when I do it, it’s because I want to and because I want to learn more. I’m not perfect or anything; I still do some messed up things sometimes but now, I am trying to build a relationship with God and because of that, it’s not left to anyone to make this choice for me. So, my point is, get to know God for your own self, in your own time because that relationship is only between you and God; No one else. I don’t know if I made a lot of sense but I hope I did.
  2. God always answered the Israelites when they cried to him: So, as I partly mentioned earlier, the Israelites had a cycle. They would turn away from God and sin, They will be punished for this sin, then they would cry to god to rescue them, He would send someone to them and then for as long as the person was alive, they would be good and then afterwards, they would turn away from God again and the cycle will continue. However, every single time they called to God, he answered them and saved them. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. How wonderful is our God? Now, even with knowing all of that, and with knowing  all the sins that we would ever commit in our lives, God still sent his son to die for us and he gave us grace. No matter what, He is always there for us. Just take a moment and  think about this and thank the Lord for his faithfulness because we are definitely not faithful.
  3. Shamgar and the oxgoad: Have you ever heard of Shamgar before? Well, if you haven’t, that is understandable because he is only mentioned in one verse in the Bible (that I’m aware of at least). Judges 3:31 (GNT) says:

The next leader was Shamgar son of Anath. He too rescued Israel, and did so by killing six hundred Philistines with an oxgoad.

When I was researching about Shamgar, I came across something very interesting that I thought is really teachable about this story. The website, actlikeaman.org had this to say about Shamgar:

First, Shamgar used what was in his hand. He did not wait to get another weapon, he used what seemed like a harmless thing as a weapon to kill the enemies. Question – what is in your hand?

Second, he took initiative that something must be done. If nobody is going to protect me, my family and field – I will do whatever it takes to protect it because God has called me as a man to protect what was given to me even if it means using his oxgoad.

What’s your oxgoad? What has God given you so that you can achieve your God-given calling. For some it might not be a lot – thus the more reason to use what is in your hand. I don’t know if you have confidence in your oxgoad but whether you find it silly or not to use the oxgoad that God has given you, be rest assured that the strength does not come from the oxgoad but from God who has given you the ability to fight.

Best believe that God has provided each and every one of us with the ability to achieve our purpose. So, don’t hesitate to use your oxgoad.

4. Deborah, Barak and Jael: I love this story so much. It is one of my favourite stories in the Bible. The feminist in me was jumping up and down in glee when I read this story. Let’s talk about Deborah first. Deborah was the only female leader in the book of Judges. She was a prophet and she was very wise. Give it up for #girlpower :).  The people had been under the the cruelty and violence of the Canaanite king, Jabin and so the people cried to the Lord and he heard them. Barak was the commander of the Israelite army and he was going against Sisera, the commander of the King Jabin’s army. However, even with Barak leading the army, God had other plans. Judges 4:9 (GNT),

She answered, “All right, I will go with you, but you won’t get any credit for the victory, because the Lord will hand Sisera over to a woman.” So Deborah set off for Kedesh with Barak.

This woman happened to be Jael. As the Israelites were defeating Sisera’s army, Sisera ran away to the tent of Jail, the wife of Heber the Kenite and while he was asleep, she killed him.

I love this story.

5. Gideon: Another story that I love so much is the story of Gideon. The people had turned away from God and so they were getting oppressed by the Midianites. So, they cried to God to save them. God chose Gideon as the person to lead Israel to victory. However, when Gideon was approached by the angel of God, he did not feel like he was worthy. Judges 6:14-16 (GNT)

Then the Lord ordered him, “Go with all your great strength and rescue Israel from the Midianites. I myself am sending you.”

Gideon replied, “But Lord, how can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest in the tribe of Manasseh, and I am the least important member of my family.”

The Lord answered, “You can do it because I will help you. You will crush the Midianites as easily as if they were only one man.”

I love this story because it shows God using a man that may have been perceived as weak or unworthy. However, it was in Gideon’s weakness that God’s strength was perfected. This story gives me hope for the future.

So, that is it people. So far, this is one of my favourite books. I had so much fun reading it and understanding it and I hope you enjoyed reading this post as well. I start Ruth in the morning. Ruth is a very short book so I should be back to talk about it in a couple of days. I hope you guys will be here then.

 

Take care, my darlings ❤

God bless xx.

Love,

Dolly.

Uncharted Territory

I am entering a brand new chapter in my life. Actually, scratch that. I am in a new chapter in my life. I’m in it whether I like it or not. There are so many changes taking place in my life at the moment and I feel overwhelmed.

I believe that change is necessary but I am a hoarder of sentiments and feelings and so, it is always hard for me to leave a previous chapter because that chapter is familiar to me. With entering a new phase, I always get nervous and scared of what it might bring.

The one change that I am going to focus on today is my new single life. I haven’t been single since I was 17 years old and I just got out of my first ‘for real, for real’ relationship. You know, when I was in secondary school, I dated about two people but it was definitely nothing like this. This relationship was my first taste of an actual relationship — we spent a lot of time together, we did a lot of things together, we laughed, we argued, there were horrible moments and there were great moments.

However, that relationship had to end and at first, it was hard to deal with it but eventually, I got over it and it was a great and vey necessary decision to make. I feel like I am breathing a new kind of air. I am as excited as I am nervous because this is uncharted territory for me.

I feel like being single in your 20s is very different from being single in your teens. So, I am trying to figure out the ropes. The most important thing to me is to figure myself out. I have a lot of maturing to do and I want to lay a good foundation in my professional life. At the moment, my heart can only handle me. I don’t have it in me to fall for someone else or give my heart to someone else. It is too much energy for me to handle right now.

So, in trying to figure out this new singledom, I am just going to ensure that I look out for myself and look out for my own happiness because no one is going to do that for me.

 

Photo: Middle Market Growth

3.00

Disclaimer: Before you read this, I want you to know that I am in a happier place in my life. I just wanted to share this because this was a moment when my life changed. 

It was 3 a.m. in the morning. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was still buzzing, heart still racing. Sleep refused to pay me a visit. In a way, I think Sleep knew. She knew that I had to be here for this. She knew that it had to wait a while for me to hear this. She knew that my life was about to change. Oh, Sleep! You could have warned me.

I lay in bed trying to calm my mind. The day had been okay. Nothing to complain about. So I put something on to watch while I waited for Sleep to meet me. What’s that? my phone is ringing. I pick it up and it’s a friendly voice. A close friend. Someone I trust.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asked. I could tell that there was something on her mind. Not enough to decipher whether it was good or bad.

“I have a story to film” I said.

“Okay. Let me know what time you finish. I have something to tell you”. Sounded important. Deep, deep deep down in my soul, it was almost like I knew what this was about but that part of my soul hadn’t caught up with the rest of my body.

“No. No. Tell me now. I’m not sleeping yet.”

“Okay. I’ll be down in like five minutes.”

I get up from my bed and walk to the door to pen up for her and we sit in the kitchen. Her face is carrying it and even though a part of me recognises it, I still don’t expect it.

“Do you know this number?” She reads the number out loud.

A part of me knows it but I don’t want it to be true. At this moment, my heart starts to sink.

“I’m not sure but let me grab my phone and check”

The entire run to my room, I feel my heart bracing itself for impact.

I get my phone and meet her downstairs and we confirm the number.

It is Him.

I feel my heart trying to take cover. I know what this is about but I don’t want it to be about that. Please, let it not be about that.

She shows me the screenshots that she took from the girl’s laptop. The girl that I considered a friend. I read enough to confirm my fears.

I feel the heat in my body. I feel paralysed. I feel pain emanating from every part of my being and then I feel my heart break.

Love is…

My heart has been so heavy these last couple of days because there is so much hate going on in the world today. I feel so sad because it should not be that way. Jesus did not come all the way to die for every single one of us for us to keep on hating other people.

I mean, do you get how precious that is? Do you understand the depth of love that God has for us? Do you know what it means that Jesus died for you and for me all those centuries ago before we were even born? And then, there are people filled with so much hateeeee!

God is Love! He is love personified. He is the embodiment of love. Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31(NIV):

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’. There is no commandment greater than these.

So, what are we doing people? Why are we so consumed with hate? Why even burn all that energy hating someone? You are not doing anyone but yourself.

Please, I plead, let us try to be kind to everyone and love everyone the way that Christ has loved us. I am just so tired and my heart bleeds to see so much hate going on in the world.

I love each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart. Please, spread the love to those around you. Keep on passing the love on. This world needs love and not hate.

I saw an amazing video on Youtube of people between the ages of 0-100 (105, technically) describe what love is and I lost it because it is so beautiful. There is a woman that said that ‘Love is a form of God’ and that just completely got me. I hope this touches you as much as it did me.

 

No one is born hating another person because of the colour of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.

– Nelson Mandela

Love is Finite! Let us pass the love on!

Timing

Hi guys,

Hope you had a wonderful weekend. Earlier today, I read a passage in the Bible about when the angel appeared to Mary to tell her that she was going to have Jesus. The first that I thought of was the celebration that had to have been going on in heaven. I mean, this moment was going to change everything for the entire world. I thought of how much time had passed for this to come true. God knew that this was the perfect time for this to happen and it made me feel so glad.

You know lately, I have been a little frustrated with my situation. I have been in the UK for longer than I should have and it is just frustrating because I feel so useless and I just want to go home and get my life started. However, this has taken longer than we anticipated and it has left me feeling very weird and just off.

This passage that I read though gave me a little more clarity. God is a God of order and He is certainly well versed with perfect timing. He knows when the right time to do anything is. As I said in a previous post, God is omniscient. He knows everything and He knows when and how everything should happen.

And I know that I need to trust Him.

And I know that I need to be patient.

It hasn’t been easy but I know that God will not lead me down a path that will hurt me. So, I am trying to trust in that.

I just wanted to also encourage you guys. Some times we want things to happen right now or at a particular time and when it doesn’t happen, we feel sad, frustrated, annoyed but God knows best. You know, one person I always think of when it comes to timing is the beautiful Taraji .P. Henson.

Taraji P Henson Taraji P Henson

You know, I love Taraji very much and she is a wonderful actress. I had known her for a long time and I just always wondered why she hadn’t gone mainstream yet. Why didn’t  people know this wonderful woman? She had been in some pretty big movies and she even got nominated for an Oscar on her role in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, yet it still seemed to take time for her to really pop.

Then Empire came in 2015 and she skyrocketed to the top and I couldn’t be happier. After so many years in the business, she was on everyone’s lips. I am sure that over the years, there were moments where she wondered when it was going to happen big for her and I believe that God was just preparing her and teaching her life skills that she needed for this moment and right now, the sky is just her starting point.

So, we have to trust God because He knows everything and He won’t lead us astray. Don’t worry and don’t fear. This is something I am trying my hardest to do as well because I truly believe that God knows what He is doing and if you ever feel doubt or unbelief, ask Him to help you through that. He knows we are not perfect and He is here to help us all the way. All we need to is ask.

 

Photos: HAPPI Magazine, Shadow and Act