Disclaimer: Before you read this, I want you to know that I am in a happier place in my life. I just wanted to share this because this was a moment when my life changed. 

It was 3 a.m. in the morning. I couldn’t sleep. My mind was still buzzing, heart still racing. Sleep refused to pay me a visit. In a way, I think Sleep knew. She knew that I had to be here for this. She knew that it had to wait a while for me to hear this. She knew that my life was about to change. Oh, Sleep! You could have warned me.

I lay in bed trying to calm my mind. The day had been okay. Nothing to complain about. So I put something on to watch while I waited for Sleep to meet me. What’s that? my phone is ringing. I pick it up and it’s a friendly voice. A close friend. Someone I trust.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asked. I could tell that there was something on her mind. Not enough to decipher whether it was good or bad.

“I have a story to film” I said.

“Okay. Let me know what time you finish. I have something to tell you”. Sounded important. Deep, deep deep down in my soul, it was almost like I knew what this was about but that part of my soul hadn’t caught up with the rest of my body.

“No. No. Tell me now. I’m not sleeping yet.”

“Okay. I’ll be down in like five minutes.”

I get up from my bed and walk to the door to pen up for her and we sit in the kitchen. Her face is carrying it and even though a part of me recognises it, I still don’t expect it.

“Do you know this number?” She reads the number out loud.

A part of me knows it but I don’t want it to be true. At this moment, my heart starts to sink.

“I’m not sure but let me grab my phone and check”

The entire run to my room, I feel my heart bracing itself for impact.

I get my phone and meet her downstairs and we confirm the number.

It is Him.

I feel my heart trying to take cover. I know what this is about but I don’t want it to be about that. Please, let it not be about that.

She shows me the screenshots that she took from the girl’s laptop. The girl that I considered a friend. I read enough to confirm my fears.

I feel the heat in my body. I feel paralysed. I feel pain emanating from every part of my being and then I feel my heart break.

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