An Angry African Woman

Someone once told me that I would be considered intimidating by the African man because I got my masters at the age of 21. I was given the implication that I might have to downplay my achievements to soothe the ego of the African man if I wanted to find a husband.

So, in order for my husband to shine, I would have to dim my light. I can be anything I choose to be as long as I do not surpass him.

Every part of me has to be perfect so that my husband can sleep well at night knowing that he has a beautiful woman with perfect breasts and an apple bottom, who can be a freak in bed but also get down on the floor and scrub and clean while cooking his favourite dish and supporting his dreams while mine stay at the back burner.

I have to be able to bear his children so that his family line can continue and get back to a size 6 almost immediately so that I can satisfy his visual hunger.

And when he comes home smelling of cheap perfume and lipstick marks on his collar, I’ll kiss him ‘welcome’ and take his clothes while acting like I didn’t see it or smell it so that he can be proud of himself that he has gotten away with it once again while trying to curb the pain in my heart because after all, he is a man and this is what men do. I am no different than my neighbour, Omotola whose husband I saw, kissing a girl young enough to be his daughter last week.

And on our 50th wedding anniversary celebration, we will talk about how we survived through the hard times together while staring into the eyes of the children that he had during one of his manly urges around the time we were celebrating our 40th.

Society has made me believe that it is my duty to keep a home and satisfy the man even when he is the one destroying the home. Somehow, my inability to cook that Ogbono soup that he requested for is enough reason for him to go out and be pleased by the thighs of another woman.

Society is my enemy because society is okay with me being treated like a modern slave in the hands of a man who is not even as smart as I am or even in the same league as me.

Well, baby just in case you didn’t know, I worked my ass off for those degrees that you speak about while dealing with a man who did not appreciate me! The man that I marry will be a man in every sense of the word because he will be secure enough to know that we can both shine together. He will be satisfied in knowing that I am just enough for him and that I am all he would ever need.

He would appreciate the changing nature of my beautiful female body and give me the time and encouragement to be the best woman that I can be. He would take me for all that I am and would Iove, respect and honour me just like a real man should. There are many layers to me as woman. I am beautiful, smart, gentle and kind and I can be a wife and change the world all at the same damn time. And it would be a cold day in hell for me to become a slave to your societal bullshit.

 

Photo: Deviant Art

Butterfly

There was a time that you were all I could think of

You were a dream, a wish that came true

A part of me that I never even knew existed

You were all I wanted; all I needed and more

Or so I thought

 

I gave you all of me…

My heart, my spirit, my soul, my body

I loved you, cared for you, prayed for you

I lifted you up, dimmed my light for you

I would have slayed dragons for you

And what did I get in return?

My heart used in a playing field of your lies  and your deceit

 

And yet I stayed

Because my love for you wanted to believe that you would want to be better for me

It wasn’t all you!

I also stayed for selfish reasons

I stayed because I didn’t have the strength to deal with the pain of building myself back up from the rubble that you left of my heart

I was afraid of being alone

 

It was hard

I thought I had let you go but there was something drawing me to you

It was fear

I did not know how to move on from that part of my life

But I did

 

Like a Phoenix, I saw myself rising again

Freed from the chains that was holding me back

This person that I thought would never show up did

This butterfly…free at last!

And never turning back

The cocoon had been filled with pain but that pain moulded me and shaped me

Like a potter with clay

And now I am ready to fly

 

A day would come when you would look for me

You would go to all the corners of the earth

Searching for me

But you wouldn’t find me

Or you just might

But I wouldn’t be yours for the taking

And you would tell stories that would last generations

Of the one that got away!

September 18th.

So. If you didn’t know by now, I am a very sentimental person. I tend to value feelings more than anything in the world and it generally affects everything I do – The music I listen to, the poetry I hear, the tv shows I watch, the stuff that I write e.t.c, whatever it is, I have to be touched by it in some way for me to truly value it. So, as such, I tend to keep notes of dates that mark important chapters in my life and September 18th is one of those days.

So, I woke up really early today – about 5am – and I was feeling really good. Then, at some point in the morning, I checked my calendar and I realised what the date was and I was like “OMG! Today, officially marks six years since I came to the UK”. Even though, I am going to be heading back at some point, it just seems so surreal that it has been six years – Six years of laughter, pain, depression, happiness, growth and so much more. When I came here in 2011, I was 15 years old and I realised that I was starting something new. I had no idea the ride I was in for but I am grateful for it. There is so much that has happened to me here. I started my blog here; I fell in love; I had my heart broken; I evolved; I bagged two degrees; I met so many wonderful people that I can call friends for life; I went through and came out of the most depressing period in my life; I survived an accident by the grace of God; I got confirmed; I got baptised and just so much more.

I have learned so much here. I have been hurt, betrayed and disappointed but I have also been loved, appreciated and encouraged. At my core, I am still me but I can’t say that I am the same person that came here six years ago. There has been so much growth and even with the good and the bad, it’s all being worth it. I wouldn’t have it any other way. God has been gracious and compassionate to me and I couldn’t be more thankful to Him for just being there for me through it all because I really don’t deserve it.

A new chapter of my life is starting and I can’t wait to see what is on the other side. I know that I am destined for greatness and I know that I will achieve it. Just you wait and see! 🙂

Love always <3,

Dolly

10 Best Films

Hey guys,

So, by now you should know about my love for TV series. I am totally obsessed with shows and I always have at least one TV show on my roster because why not? However, I have been focused on movies as well. I have always had a certain love for movies but I prefer watching an elongated story than a short one; hence my preference for TV shows. Lately though, some of the shows I have been watching have been a little intense so I just decided to concentrate on movies for now and I have been enjoying them. In the midst of doing that, I remembered an assignment that I did for my Sports/Cultural Journalism  class for my undergrad (Don’t ask me why it was an assignment. It just was. Lol), and because I am a harder of sentiments and information, I still have it on my laptop and I decided to share it in appreciation of my love for movies.

There are a couple of movies that I need to add to this list like: Kingsman, The New Edition biopic and A Dog’s Purpose but I’m not exactly sure where to place them on the list just yet and I really want you guys to see this list as is. So, I hope you love my list and let me know what you feel about the movies on here and please recommend any movie that you think that I should see. I’ll do a countdown list from 10 – 1.

10.

Title: In Time

Studio & Year of Release: 20th Century Fox; 2011

Director: Andrew Niccol

Main Stars: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Olivia Wilde

Set in the year 2169, this is a film that focuses on a society where the people stop aging at the age of 25. At this age, they have a clock on their arm that starts to count down how long they would live. The story is an intriguing one that takes the genre of sci-fi to another level. The cinematography is revolutionary and Timberlake does a good job convincing the audience of the authenticity of the film.

9.

Title: Gone Girl

Studio & Year of Release: 20th Century Fox; 2014

Director: David Fincher

Main stars: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Neil Patrick Harris

Gone girl is a film that is based on Gillian Flynn’s book of the same name. It is a psychological thriller that focuses on the search for Amy Donne after her husband, Nick comes home on his fifth anniversary to find her missing. This is a film that keeps the heart racing from the beginning to the end. Rosamund Pike plays a convincing role as a psychopathic wife and the story is a good one filled with deception & betrayal.

8.

Title: Now You See Me

Studio & Year of Release: Summit Entertainment; 2013

Director: Louis Leterrier

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Mark Ruffalo, Morgan Freeman

‘Now You See Me’ is a crime thriller about a group of four magicians who pull off a bank heist during their act. The cast, the directing & the script is one to be reckoned with. The film keeps the audience focused and on their toes throughout the film.

7.

Title: Shutter Island

Studio & Year of Release: Paramount Pictures; 2010

Director: Martin Scorsese

Starring: Leonardo di Caprio, Mark Ruffalo, Michelle Williams

‘Shutter Island’ is a film based on Dennis Lehane’s novel of the same name. The film is set in a psychiatric facility on Shutter Island where U.S. Marshall, Edward “Teddy” Daniels is investigating. Leonardo di Caprio does an excellent job playing this character and the film leaves the audience wondering about their state of mind.

6.

Title: The Help

Studio & Year of Release: Walt Disney Studios/ Motion Pictures; 2011

Director: Tate Taylor

Starring: Viola Davis, Emma Stone, Octavia Spencer, Jessica Chastain

‘The Help’ is an American period drama that is based on Kathryn Stockett’s novel of the same name. It is set in the 1960’s during the Civil Rights movement. It focuses on the relationship between a young white woman, Eugenia “Skeeter” Phelan and black maids, Aibileen Clark and Minny Jackson, Though fiction, this film touches on a tainted time in the United States. It is one that lets the audience have a glimpse on one of the worst times in the States. The acting is an excellent one and Octavia Spencer won an Oscar for her role as Minny Jackson.

5.

Title: My Week With Marilyn

Studio & Year of Release: The Weinstein Company; 2011

Director: Simon Curtis

 Starring: Michelle Williams, Eddie Redmayne, Kenneth Branagh

Set in 1956, this a true life story of the relationship between production assistant, Colin Clark and actress, Marilyn Monroe on the set of the film, “The Prince and the Showgirl.” Michelle Williams captures the essence of Marilyn Monroe from her voice and her elegance to her walk and vulnerability. The Golden Globe award she received was well-deserved.

4.

Title: Everybody’s Fine

Studio & Year of Release: Miramax Films; 2009

Director: Kirk Jones

Starring: Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale, Sam Rockwell

‘Everybody’s fine’ is a drama that focuses on the journey of a widower to reunite with his four children after they cancel their visits at the last minute. His journey makes him discover secrets about his children. Robert De Niro’s role as Frank Goode is one of a loving father who only ever wanted to do his best for his children. De Niro is exceptional and the script is an excellent one.

3.

Title: The Sound of Music

Studio & Year of Release: 20th Century Fox; 1965

Director: Robert Wise

Starring: Julie Andrews, Christopher Plummer, Eleanor Parker

‘The Sound of Music’ is a musical drama film loosely based on the real Von Trapp family, one of the biggest concert groups preceding World War II. It is a film that is timeless and Julie Andrews brings the screen to life. The way she sings and acts is one that can never be forgotten.

2.

Title: Coming to America

Studio & Year of Release: Paramount Pictures; 1988

Director: John Landis

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, Shari Headley, James Earl Jones

‘Coming to America’ is a romantic comedy set in the 80s about a wealthy African prince who comes to the United States to find a wife. This is one of Eddie murphy’s most-remembered films. The film is timeless and makes the audience laugh and cry at the same time.

1.

Title: Forrest Gump

Studio & Year of Release: Paramount Pictures, 1994

Director: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Gary Sinise

Set between 1944 and 1982, Forrest Gump is an epic-romantic-comedy-drama film that is based on Winston Groom’s novel of the same name. It is a story about the life of Forrest Gump, a phlegmatic and naïve young man who witnesses and in some cases, influences some of the defining moments in the United State’s 20th century. This was a film that showed Tom Hanks for the great actor that he is. He brought the role of Forrest to life and made the audience laugh and cry with him.

 

So, that is it. Let me know what you guys think. ❤

 

Photo: Player FM

 

The book of 1 Samuel (Part 2)

Hey guys,

Welcome back to our discussion on the book of 1 Samuel. Normally, I like to do one post but this one was especially long, so I decided to split it into two. Thank you so much for your patience and without further ado, let’s get to it.

A Goliath Problem

Have you ever had a problem that seemed so big that it seemed so impossible to solve? Well, that my friends, is what can be referred to as a Goliath problem. This is based on the infamous story of David and Goliath and as we are about to see, there is never any problem that is too big for God to solve.

So, the Israelites were at war with the Philistines and in 1 Samuel 17: 4-6 (GNT) states:

A man named Goliath, from the city of Gath, came out from the Philistine camp to challenge the Israelites. He was over nine feet tall and wore bronze armor that weighed about 125 pounds and a bronze helmet. His legs were also protected by bronze armor, and he carried a bronze javelin slung over his shoulder.

The Bible also says that “Goliath had challenged the Israelites every morning for forty days and forty nights.”

Has that problem been challenging you and making you feel small? That is exactly what Goliath was doing to the Israelites.

Now, one day David came to the Israelite camp. He really had no business being there but his father had told him to go and check on his brothers. Thank God for that! Sometimes, God will dispatch something or someone that seems so random to help you solve your problem.

When David saw this giant challenging the people of Israel, he got upset. How dare this man challenge the people of the Living God? My dears, you are royalty. You come from the Ancient of Days and so whenever a problem starts to challenge you, remember who you are!

So, David told Saul that he wanted to fight Goliath and so, they strapped him up with a sword, helmet and an armour but David could not walk in it. So, David decided to pick what he knew. 1 Samuel 17: 39-40 (GNT):

 39 David strapped Saul’s sword over the armor and tried to walk, but he couldn’t, because he wasn’t used to wearing them. “I can’t fight with all this,” he said to Saul. “I’m not used to it.” So he took it all off. 40 He took his shepherd’s stick and then picked up five smooth stones from the stream and put them in his bag. With his sling ready, he went out to meet Goliath.

Do you remember the story of Shamgar and the oxgoad ? If you haven’t, please check it out here. Sometimes, your best weapon is the one in your hand or one that you are used to.

When David approached Goliath, Goliath taunted him. He was so sure that he could beat David. He was so sure that he could destroy him but David knew that He had the Most High God behind him and he said in 1 Samuel 17: 45-47 (GNT),

45 David answered, “You are coming against me with sword, spear, and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LordAlmighty, the God of the Israelite armies, which you have defied. 46 This very day the Lord will put you in my power; I will defeat you and cut off your head. And I will give the bodies of the Philistine soldiers to the birds and animals to eat. Then the whole world will know that Israel has a God, 47 and everyone here will see that the Lord does not need swords or spears to save his people. He is victorious in battle, and he will put all of you in our power.”

And with his slingshot and a stone, David defeated Goliath with just one hit. Goliath came tumbling down and that big problem was a problem no more! Somebody, give the Lord a shout of praise!

Today, I prophesy into the lives of those reading this  that that Goliath problem that has been caused you grief and pain will be destroyed today in the Name of Jesus. God is with you my loves. Just trust in Him.

Final Thoughts

The rest of 1 Samuel was really about Saul trying to kill David. Saul was jealous of David. He knew that God had chosen and instead of trying to rekindle a relationship with God, he spent this time chasing and plotting to kill David. There were at least two occasions where David could have killed Saul but he didn’t because he respected the fact that God had chosen Saul to be the first King of Israel.

There was a point when Saul sent three thousand of his best soldiers to find David. THREE THOUSAND MEN! All to kill one man. When the enemy is afraid of you, he will deploy all his resources to try and destroy you. Do not fear! God is with you and whenever life seems to be so hard, remember that you are a force to be reckoned with and that is why the enemy is trying to bring you down.

Finally, in Chapter 31, Saul and his sons died in battle!

 

That is it guys! I really enjoyed writing this. Remember how I said yesterday that I was trying to get back on track with my spiritual journey, well believe it or not but writing this post just rejuvenated my drive. God is so good! This post just encouraged me and just made me feel better about everything that I am going through and I hope it does the same for you too.

God is with you my darlings! Never forget that. I started 2 Samuel yesterday and I’ll be back to talk about it when I’m done. Hope to see you then.

Till next time, my darlings ❤

God bless xx

Love,

Dolly

 

 

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