I’ll tell you what Freedom is to me. No fear.
– Nina Simone
I have never really been able to define what happiness meant but in the last year, I have come to see it as two things. The first is Freedom. Happiness, for me has always meant complete freedom – complete freedom to be me – and be okay with that -, complete freedom to live, to breathe; freedom from restrictions. I watched a documentary on Nina Simone recently aptly titled, ‘What Happened Miss Simone’ and she said something that touched me to the core of my soul. She said “I’ll tell you what Freedom is to me. No fear.” To me, that mirrors what happiness is. The only entity that I truly want to fear in life and the one after is the Most High God.
This is not to say that I want to just go about and be doing bad or evil things. No. Whatever you do in life, whether good or bad had it’s own rewards and I recognise that. I always want to maintain a strong moral compass on what is right and what is wrong. No matter what.
I also see Happiness as contentment. That is the second thing. Contentment. That feeling that no matter what I have in life, whether big or small, I’ll be good. I read something that Saint Paul had said in the Bible a while ago and when I read it, I said to myself, “This is what I want to feel all day, everyday.” He said: “I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that at anywhere, at anytime, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little.” (Philippians 4:12 GNT) .
I have never been the happiest person. I have always had bouts of happiness but it has never really been the full thing. This is because for a very long time, I suffered from depression. I have been pretty open about that and it was only last year that I really started seeing a light. So, in the last year, I have been the happiest I have ever been but it is still not where I want to be.
I have come to view happiness as a choice and I have to make that choice. Also, I have come to realise that true happiness comes from Jesus. The sort of happiness that Jesus provides is like none other because when you allow him to shoulder your burdens for you, you feel so much lighter. My spiritual life is shaky at best but it’s the best it has been in my entire life but I am trying though.
I am also trying to laugh more and not just laugh for the sake of laughing but that kind of laughter that makes your stomach hurt because you have been laughing so hard. I want to be content and I want to be able to depend on Jesus all the time.
Life is beautiful but it can be tough sometimes. You know this world is a whole mess and it always will be but it is what we got and I just want to make the best of every situation.
I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that at anywhere, at anytime, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little.
– St. Paul (Philippians 4:12)