Amnesia

Right is left

Left is right

Woke is sleep

Sleep is woke

We keep running around in circles

Going in loops

Searching for the holy grail

Searching for the truth

And believing the lies in the process

We have forgotten…

Forgotten who we are

Forgotten our roots

We’ve put down our princely robes

In order to roll in the mud…

Our minds completely wiped clean of who we are

The journey to strong mental health is a continuous one

Don’t cry for me Argentina. I’ll be just fine

My mental health has taken a hit lately. It is no secret that I suffered from depression few years ago. I was on anti-depressants for a moment and I also had suicidal thoughts. It took me a while to get over it but eventually I did through prayer, new friendships and a departure from toxicity. However, I have learned that this journey is a continuous one.

Over the last two years, I’ve had moments where I’ve felt triggered but they have always remained that – moments. Lately, it’s lasted longer than I planned. I can’t exactly figure out when it started but I’m grateful because I know the signs so I’ve caught it early before it can do any real damage.

And while it’s still pretty mild and in knowing who God is and how much he loves me, suicidal thoughts have not come into play and I believe it wouldn’t. However, it’s still hard. I feel tormented inside and I’m trying to deal with it as best as I can. For one, I’m speaking about it and praying about it and even talking to friends and I know that I would be okay soon.

I just want people to know that your mental health is very important. It is not a joke and you should take care of it as best as you can. It is very essential and don’t feel ashamed about it.

To my fellow misfits going through a hard time, you will be okay, I assure you of that. Just know that you are awesome and this shall pass too.

Don’t cry for me Argentina, I’ll be just fine. I just need to do some serious work on myself and I have come a very long way from where I was a few years ago. I am more equipped to deal with this than I’ve ever been and I know that God is making everything work together for my good and I trust Him. It was important to me that I shared this with you all so I hope you don’t mind.

In the mean time, here is a pretty picture of me for you to enjoy. Lol

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My New Podcast: Road to 30

Anyone that knows me knows that I like to talk. Lol. If you allow me, I will talk your ear off. As a matter of fact, if I meet you for the first time and I just keep on talking, take it as a compliment because it means that I like you.

I have always been interested in this area of media. The summer before I entered university, I got the opportunity to get some work experience at a radio station which was such a wonderful time for me. I had actually shared a part of my experience there on this blog. You can check it out here. So, basically this was always something that I always wanted to do.

So, since I wasn’t able to get a job working at a radio station, I wanted to take matters into my own hands by starting a podcast. I even recorded an episode and everything but fear crippled me. I just couldn’t hack it.

Then, in walked my friend, Isaac. I have known Isaac for just about a decade. I had first met him when I went along with my secondary school for some competition at his secondary school. Then, he mentioned to me that he was my very good friend, Millicent’s cousin and the rest is history. Over the years, we communicated on and off. Then, earlier this year, Millicent told me that Isaac wanted to start a podcast. And honestly, the thought crossed my mind about doing it with him but then I shut it down because I felt we were moving in two different directions.

However, a few days later, he messaged me and asked me if I was interested in starting one with him and the more I thought about it, the more sense it made to me. I felt it would be great to have a partner as opposed to doing it alone. Everything seemed to work out so well because he lives very close to me and so, meeting up was no problem at all.

Our first meeting went very well and we communicated so well. We realised that we wanted to create a show that showcased all the joys and excitements of being in our 20s and we knew that there are tons of people who would be able to relate. It took us a few months to get it all together but on April 28th, 2019, we released our very first episode.

We have gotten such great feedback from it and we are super excited to keep going and creating content. So, please, I would appreciate if you guys support our podcast by listening, subscribing and commenting. I would share the Soundcloud recordings below and I will also provide the iTunes and Spotify links for those that would prefer those avenues.

Episode 1: Is adulting a scam?

On this episode we talk about the journey of adulting and if it is everything that we thought it would be. Take a listen below:

 

Episode 2: Losing Friendships

As we get older, we notice that our circles get smaller. We discuss our experiences of some of the friendships that have fallen on the way side as we have gotten older.

Unfortunately, I am having trouble sharing the last one on this post but if you head to here, you will be directed to all the platforms that our podcast is on for your choosing. Also, please follow us on our social media platforms

Instagram & Twitter: @roadto30podcast

I love you guys. Thanks for sticking with me and forgive my shameless plugging. Lol.

 

 

I am through with the dating game.

What is it about me that says ‘ready to be played?’ 

I spent the last week being completely depressed. I slept a lot. I cried a lot and I thought a lot. One could say it was due to PMS or one could say it was due to the fact that I got approached by yet another dude who likes me enough to want to have sex with me but not enough to actually date me. Or it could be both, who knows? Crazier things have happened eh?

As you may know, I am a romantic. I am corny. I am sappy. I believe that love is one of the most meaningful things in this world but lately, I’ve started to doubt that. I mean, I still think it is but maybe just not for me. I am at my wit’s end when it comes to this dating game and at this point, I just want to simply step out of it.

I feel exhausted and worn out. Maybe it’s the PMS but I spent the last week trying to figure out what was wrong with me. What is it about me that says ‘ready to be played?’

In the last few years, I have grown to be more confident in the woman that I am but this last week showed me that I still have a long way to go. But as for this dating game, I feel done. I feel through.

And it sucks more because I have loved but haven’t ever felt that love back. So, I don’t even know what it means to be in a relationship with a person who thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. And I worry sometimes that I wouldn’t get that.

This is not post asking for sympathy. This is just a post that mirrors what I am going through in my life right now. And I want to know if I have sisters or brothers out there who feel the way I do. But, as of right now, I’m done.

I can’t keep doing this. It’s not even fun anymore.