I had a very interesting summer! (and I say that with a lot of giggles and butterflies). In the midst of all the chaos, I had some bliss. It was very unexpected and I think that’s what made it all the more amazing. I spent a lot of time with a fellow human and it was the best part of the last two years for me. This human made me feel like me. There is something to be said for a person who brings our your inner sunshine; the part of you that has forgotten that there is beauty in laughing at yourself and just laughing, PERIOD.
Anyway, that experience was such a blessing and it made me realise that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone I can’t laugh with. We have to be laughing all the time. That is someone who cares about you – If he makes you laugh. I also realised that I don’t want to be with someone who can’t be honest with me and someone who makes me feel like I can’t be honest with him.
I haven’t had the greatest experiences with men – and it wasn’t completely on them. I have had my own issues that affected my confidence, my self esteem and my being. And a lot of times, I felt like maybe I wasn’t worthy of being loved.
However, this summer, I discovered a part of myself. I felt a part of myself come alive and I knew that this was how I wanted to feel all the time – whether with someone or by myself. God, through this wonderful human, gave me that — the ability to see that I deserve more.