D is for Dolly

Hi Dolly. How are you? Yes…I know no one really calls you Dolly…well, not yet anyway but trust me you would get used to it soon enough. Who am I? Don’t I look familiar? I’m you. I know. We look good don’t we? It’s our birthday tomorrow. How do you feel? Yeah I get that. You want to know my age now? Hmm.. well, I’ll be 20 tomorrow and you’ll be 10 right? I know. Great age. Mummy has something big planned for you. You would have to wait till Christmas though. You have to enjoy it though. It’s going to be the biggest party you would have in a while. No…trust me that’s not a bad thing. It just means that you prefer doing things a little simpler now.

There a lot of things I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you which friends to avoid, what boys to run from, what mistakes not to make but I won’t be doing you a favour. I really wish I could protect your heart from all the pain but you need it. You have to figure things out for yourself. It would only make you stronger and believe me, you are one strong woman. Anytime you go through something, just remember that you would be fine. You would always be fine.

Now, while you would experience some really tough times, you would also experience some really great times. You are going to meet people who would become a part of your journey and cheer you on. Some of the friends you already have would remain your friends for life. You don’t know it yet but you would. You would experience some really great times that would make you believe that life couldn’t get any better but it would. It would get better and I know this because I believe it even now.

I wish I could tell you that your relationship with God would always be a smooth sail but it wouldn’t. There are times that you would not want to speak to God because you are afraid He is to listening or that He has turned His back on you. But I want you know that He is always there. He is always listening and He would never turn his back on you. You just need to have faith and keep believing. He knows what He is doing so trust Him.

And finally, Dolly, you are special. I never ever want you to forget that. You love with all your heart and you are just a great person. I don’t mean to toot our horn but I feel like I need to tell you this because you would forget a lot how special you really are.

I have to go now. I’ll miss you too and Yes…you would see me every once in a while.

Thank you love. Happy birthday to you too.

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C is for Cleaning

I am a messy person and I don’t like to clean. When I say messy, I don’t mean disgusting; I just mean that I always have things all over the place.

As I said above, I don’t like cleaning and I do it because in most situations, I have to. However, there are times when I am so sad and cleaning is just a good way to get my mind in check.

I remember my mum telling me sometime ago that whenever you don’t feel very good – like if you are feeling upset or down -, cleaning is a great way to feel better. This is because when everything around you is disorganised, it also messes with you inside. Cleaning organises everything and looking at clean room always makes you feel better inside even if its just for a little while.

So while I hate it, I believe that it is therapeutic. So, what do you do when you feel upset or down? Let me know in the comments below

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B is for Baking

Those that know me well know that baking is a hobby that is very close to my heart. I just love to bake and I have loved it since i was a little girl.

One day, when I was a little primary school girl, I went to school as usual. However, this particular day, our home economics teacher decided to teach us how to make pancakes. We all wore our dark green aprons and hair nets and we got going. Well, actually she got going while we stood around her and watched. Later, we all got to taste the finished product and I was delighted in the fact that I was a part of it. Even though, I didn’t do anything other than watch, I just felt like I was a part of something great.

Now, even though pancakes doesn’t require baking, it still really excited me and I wanted to try other new things. When I got home that day, I told my mum that we were taught how to make pancakes and I really wanted to make some for them at home.

Now, I don’t really remember when this happened but all I know is that one day, I got back from school and my mum and aunt were in the kitchen with all the ingredients to make pancakes. This time, I had the opportunity to get my hands dirty and it was so amazing.

While the pancakes made me really excited about the great things that the kitchen could produce, it was my mum’s baking phase that really made me fall in love with baking.

Now, let me paint a picture of the type of woman my mum is for you guys.

My mum is a really strong, hardworking woman. She is a really busy woman who just loves to come home after a long day, make some quick dinner, kick her feet up and watch TV and after that, she is off to bed.

It is so funny to me because there was once a time when my mum was really obsessed with baking. It was almost like she baked something every night. I have no idea why she got so into it but she was. She had all the cook books and the equipment. It was amazing. The day I knew my mum was officially a bake-o-maniac was the day she made braided bread. Now, I was younger and I didn’t know that ‘braided bread’ was actually something you could make. But, she did and it was delicious and it looked a lot like this:

braided bread

She eventually got over that phase because she got busier and busier. So, I guess I carried on where she left off. I remember a time when my friend, my siblings and I made some cupcakes and decided that we wanted to sell them outside our gate. My mum heard about it and she was not happy about that because she didn’t want us to get into any kind of trouble.

Anyway, I am nowhere near being a baking genius but I can bake for my friends and family and they always seem to love it. I love what baking has done for me. It has helped me through some terrible nights when I was so frustrated and overwhelmed with life and for that, I would forever be grateful.

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A is for Art

Hi guys,

I was supposed to start this yesterday but I was really swamped. So, I am starting today. Hope you guys enjoy it.

Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time

The quote above was said by a man called Thomas Merton and I agree with his definition of art. I have never been someone who was into art work but for the last couple of weeks, I have been reading a book called ‘How to be both’ by Ali Smith. In this book, she explores art through her characters.

She seems to feel like art represents all things. Art is much more than paint on a canvas. It is life, love, memories and I think that is something I agree with. I see art as a form of expression and it doesn’t only come in form of paintings. It could be writing or music, just about any piece of expression.

I think that everyone has some form of art in them; it’s just a matter of finding it.

My own way of expression is through writing and unfortunately for me, I have been having trouble writing for the last couple of months and I am only starting to get my groove back.

So pls, pardon my writing for now. I am only starting to love my art once again.

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Blogging A-Z

Hey guys,

I realised that I have not been as active on this blog as I have been in the past. I have had a lot of work to do in the last couple of months that has not given me the time to blog as much as I would like. So, I decided to do the A-Z challenge where everyday, I would be blogging about something that starts with each letter of the alphabet.

I am excited about it and i think it would wake this blog up again. I hope to write everyday – starting from tomorrow. I can’t promise that I would write every day but I would definitely try.

I look forward to it and I hope to see your comments and your likes.

Thanks for always being here.

Love,

Dolly

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What is life?

Pardon me if I don’t write my best today. I am just waking up from sleep. Lol.

I am so glad its Friday. It has been an emotional week and I just feel drained of all my energy and I just want to not think about anything sad or frustrating. I just want to be on my bed and watch TV shows. Thank Goodness, I have no classes on Friday.

So, my week started with bad news. On Monday, we got the sad news that a beloved person in my department had died on Sunday, the day before. To say it was shocking is an understatement. It still is. It came from nowhere and this was someone that was in school last week. I saw her just last week.

We weren’t friends and I never got the opportunity to know her well but I worked with her a few times. She was a great girl. She was never angry or sad. She smiled all the time and loved to have fun. I never heard anything bad about her and she was just a happy person and to think that she is just gone is just too much.

I know we weren’t close but I feel the loss. I have been shaken to my core this week. It has made me question life and if anything really matters if death just comes and wipes it all away. Like, what is life really at this point? I have just been sad and frustrated.

I have been so frustrated because I finish my degree in December and all my plans for after have just been falling by the wayside as I go. I mean, I know that there is a purpose for everything but I really don’t feel that way right now. I just don’t know where I stand right now and I feel pressure from everyone to do well and I just, I’m frustrated.

Anyway, that’s left to me to figure out right? I’ll try and let you know. So, how was your week? You could ket me know in the comments

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Starting Over!

Yesterday was a very strange and frustrating day for me. To begin with, my school internet wasn’t working, so I had to start looking for ways to get some internet for myself. I was able to use my phone as a hotspot for a while but after a couple of hours, I couldn’t use it anymore. So, i had to find a way to bring my mobile broadband to life which wasn’t successful until today.

All through yesterday – as I kept thinking about how terrible the universe was to me – something at the back of my mind said, I was missing something. I was wondering if there was some sort of celebration I was missing. I remembered it was my mate’s birthday and I sent her a message. However, that wasn’t it because I kept thinking there was something happening but it wasn’t coming to me.

It was later in the night that I realised that September 18th, 2015 marked four years since I had come to the UK to start my education. Wow! Four years! I can hardly believe it. It has gone so fast. I remember the day I left to start a new life here four years ago. I was fresh out of secondary school and I was 15 years old. I was naïve and eager to start a new adventure and boy, what an adventure it has been.

When I first arrived, I was just about to start my first year of A’Levels and by December (by God’s grace), I would be finishing my undergraduate degree. Isn’t God wonderful? I have experienced great happiness and severe pain these last four years and though I wished the painful parts didn’t have to happen, I admit that experiencing them helped me grow up.

I go back to seeing that girl arriving in Heathrow airport with her mother four years and how nervous and excited she was to start a new life. Lol. She has no idea what she is about to experience.

Anyway, I have been binge-watching Ugly Betty this last couple of weeks and it has made me realise a few things. I have been feeling very uninspired and I almost didn’t write this post but I want to start writing again on my blog. I’ll be honest; I don’t feel inspired or motivated to do so but I want to try.

I want to see if I can take this blog to a new direction. I’m not sure what direction I’m taking it yet so pardon me, if you notice any instability or disorganisation in the coming weeks. I really want to try to do something different. I have been lacking passion for a lot of things lately but I figure, I have to get off my ass and so something about it.

I hope you are there for it.

Thanks for reading.

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