Dolly Writes

Journey of a growing woman

Category: 19

Dolly Speaks – Job Scams, Life Purposes & Music

Hi guys,

So for a while now, I have been doing a radio segment for my school’s radio and it has been amazing. It occurred to me to record my segment and upload it here so this is my first upload.

On this episode of Dolly Speaks, I speak on my experience on almost being a victim of a job scam and how to protect yourself from it. I also speak on fulfilling your life purpose because I have been filling very empty. I also play some great music from my top 10 most played list. Please listen and support. ❤

Thank you.

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Nominated For An Award

Hi guys,

So I am in a very good mood because some amazing news came my way last night.

So, I was in my room last night lying down on my bed and just being lazy. I did not have a very good day yesterday because I was feeling overwhelmed. I was beginning to feel very done with school, with myself, with life in general because these last two years have been very very trying for me. Yesterday, I had started to feel like a complete loser. I cried a lot and I prayed a lot and I was angry a lot. Long story short, it was just a very draining day for me.

Then, just when everything seemed to fall apart, I got a message from a friend of mine. She messaged me on Snapchat and was saying “Aww, dolly, why didn’t you tell me you were nominated?” And I was like, “Nominated for what? What are you talking about?” I thought maybe she sent a message to the wrong person or she was just playing. Then, she said fI was nominated for a Nigerian Teen Choice Award for ‘Choice Online Blogger.’

Now, for the last couple of days, i had been hearing about this award show but i did not pay much attention to it. The award show was yesterday and I was seeing it on social media but I wasn’t into it as much. Then, getting that message from my friend, I was very confused. She called me and said that she went for the award show and she heard my name called out. I was like “Are you sure? Are you sure its me?” She said she was 100% sure. I said: “How did I not know about this?”. She said she only just found out at the show. I was so confused but I did not want to celebrate yet or jubilate until i had seen the nomination list myself. I called my sister and as a social media G, she found the nomination list in like two minutes on Instagram and I was like: “Whoa!”

Now see, this blog is my baby. This blog is everything to me. I am crying again as I am writing this. Lol. I have been sharing my thoughts, my stories, my life for the past two years. Every single thing on this blog has been a part of me. I have never really pulled that much people to this blog. I do the best I can to promote it. I share it on my social media pages and I also subscribed to a blog community that helps to promote it on twitter and Facebook but I have never really blown up like that.

Seeing that nomination last night, it just brought tears to my eyes. Unfortunately, I didn’t know about it soon enough. If I had known, i would have tried to get people to vote for me. However, I am okay with this nomination. I am so thankful. I did not think that anyone thought that my work was that good. I didn’t even think I was that good and to see this, I am so humbled.

I believe God chose that moment for me to find out to let me know that I should not quit. He reminded me of a motto that I have been using for the last couple of days: “Where there is life, there is hope.” He was telling me not to give up and to carry on. Though it might seem like I am sinking into the ground, sometimes, He is there for me all the day.

I am so thankful and humbled. Thank you to all of you that read my blog, like, write comments and encourage me. You guys are amazing. I would not get a nomination if not for you guys. You guys are just wonderful. I am so blessed to have such amazing readers. You guys are my family and I love you all.

Thank you all for reading. This has encouraged me and I would keep on going. God bless you all.

7193

I am 7193 days old today. I learned recently that the average life span of human beings is 28000 days. Realising that made me rethink my life a little bit about how I have spent the last 7192 days. An event that I witnessed a long time ago came to mind. When I was about three years old, I witnessed a funeral.

The woman that was being buried was called Aunty Betty. Aunty Betty, from what I remember, was the headmistress or owner of my school at the time. She was a really nice lady. My parents liked her a lot and I liked being around her. Then one day, she was not around anymore.

I remember my mum saying “Aunty Betty has died” in a very sombre tone. I did not really understand it until the day of the funeral. That day, I felt like I was given a heavy dose of reality. When I watch movies or TV shows, parents explain the concept of death to their children in a very subtle way. They say things like: “She/he has gone to heaven.” That was not the case for me. I was made to understand what death was at a very early age.

Anyway, the funeral was held somewhere. I can’t really remember. Anyway, as the hearse approached, my mum took me (can’t remember if my siblings were with me at this point) to see it.I do not know why she did that. However, I don’t think she meant any harm. However, I was not informed about what I was about to see. I was told that they were bringing Aunty Betty. No one told me that I would see a coffin up close. Anyway, the hearse approached and they brought out the coffin and I burst into tears. I was wailing. I was afraid. That coffin was not Aunty Betty – at least, not the Aunty Betty I remember.

Anyway, my mum took me away from there. As they were doing the funeral in some chapel, we passed by it and I remember my mum saying that Aunty Betty died from Fibroids. It was a very sad day. I have never forgotten it.

The point of this story is that I am familiar with the concept of death. I have always known about it. I know that it is something that happens to every human eventually. So, you would think that I would learn how to live my life and enjoy it to the fullest. However, for the most part, i have always been afraid. I am always afraid of moving forward. Always afraid of what my future holds. Especially now. I am 7193 days old (19 years), finishing my degree at the end of the year and I have no idea what the future holds and I am scared.

I should not be afraid. I am trying not to be. However, there are so many people that I am trying not to disappoint and I am afraid that I would do just that. I don’t want to be scared. I should live my life and take each day as it comes and leave the future in the hands of God.

I am just trying to learn this.

Life is to damn short.

Photo Source: Style Honestly

I can show you God

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I can show you God

A Poem by Coyote Poetry

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Just thoughts and things to ponder on

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                                  I can show you God
The great search for God is fruitless for some.
I knew a woman from  Santa Cruz.  We sat together often drinking hot and tasty
coffee on the Santa Cruz boardwalk. Her heart was cold and dead.She  told me God is dead and forgotten.
We are just people struggling with no place to go or reasons to be alive.

I smiled and pointed to the sea.
I told her God is alive.
Look at the dancing sea.
The sun above us. Gifts for us from God.

God isn’t our master or guide.
Life is for us to decide.
She looked frustrated and asked.
Don’t God support to protect and save us?
Look at this world. War, murder, violence and dead-ends.”

I requested her to travel with me.
I…

View original post 678 more words

Rawness/Vulnerability

I came across this video a couple of days ago and it touched me deep down in my soul. In this day and age, it is difficult to find music that goes beyond the surface but when you do find it, it is gold. This song, this video, everything about it screams to me. Sometimes, when I see nudity in music videos, I am turned off but this video is just completely different. This is art. These people are being raw. They are being stripped to nothing because they are showing their souls. if my soul were to be reflected on my outer body, I would probably be naked. I am raw. I am vulnerable. I am not afraid to be seen for what I am. i can’t even help it even if I tried. I hate it some times. It annoys me that I cannot be cold or hide my feelings or shift it to the back burner.

However, I know that though I may have my shortcomings, bravery is not one of them. To be able to show myself even when I know that I may get hurt, that is not the easiest thing in the world. This video is me. That is who I am. That is my soul speaking out through the words of someone else.

And oh, how I love the sound of it

People disappoint!

EAT+THE+FISH+LEAVE+THE+BONES

When I become a mother, one thing I would let my children know from the moment they are born is that, I am not perfect. I have made mistakes – lots of them and every now and then, I still tend to make poor decisions. That way, they know that it is okay and it is alright and that making mistakes don’t make you a bad person – it only means that you are human.

There are people in my life that I have idolised and admired and I have admired some of them because they seemed perfect. They seemed like they have never made any mistakes and they seemed like they would be disappointed in me if they find out that I have made some poor decisions. However, I realised later that they themselves, have made some really terrible mistakes and I am disappointed – not because they made mistakes but because they seemed perfect in my eyes.

I think one reason I greatly admire Maya Angelou is because she is a woman who made so many mistakes earlier in her life and she has never been secretive about that. When she was just 16 years old, she got pregnant with her first child. Maya Angelou was like everyone’s grandma and she was a very wise woman. I still look up to her and sometimes I just go on youtube to listen to her speak. Knowing that she made some mistakes in her youth made me feel connected to her because I know that she was not just speaking from a place of judgement but from a place of experience. I know that she was not preaching on something she did not know and I know that if I made a mistake, she won’t have judged me. She would have told me that my mistake does not define me but where I go from there.

People tend to disappoint and that’s why the only person we can ever really idolise is God because he is perfect and makes no mistakes. I admire people that don’t have to hide the fact that they have made mistakes but show that you can learn from it.

Anyway, my whole point of this is that it is okay – Very okay – to make mistakes. We live and we learn. As humans, it is very easy to judge other people’s  mistakes. I won’t act like I don’t do it sometimes. However, let us remember that we have done some things and said some things that we are not proud of and we should ‘not judge someone because they sin differently from us.’

Real Men Don’t Hit Women

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i am so sad. I have no strength in me right now to even be angry. I am just heartbroken. So, this wonderful young woman named Emma Murphy shared this heartbreaking video on her Facebook page where she spoke about the abuse that she had endured from her former partner. Having two children with this man did not stop him from becoming a monster. My heart just hurts not just for her, but for every woman that has to endure any kind of abuse. It’s just not right.

I am glad that she had the strength to speak up, to share her story and to walk away. That takes real courage. People can judge when looking at a situation from the outside but when you’re in it, it’s a completely different story and so I am so proud that she had the strength to see that she is worth more than this.

Ladies, please we are strong and we don’t need anyone defining who we are because God has made us strong and beautiful. I also do realise that, though it’s not very common, some men do suffer abuse. I want to also use this medium to reach out to men in these situations and to say that you are worth so much more.

Real Men do not hit women. Let us raise awareness against domestic violence.

Hotlines

UK – nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

US – the hotline.org (1-800-799-7233 )

AUSTRALIA – https://www.1800respect.org.au (1800 737 732)

Escape to Freedom

YeonmiPark

I saw this heartbreaking speech on youtube by a young lady called, Yeonmi Park and I just had to share. We get too focused on our own lives sometimes and it is always good to just step out of our lives and realities and witness the realities of others around the world. it is important to support in the best way we can and I will try my best to bring more stories like this because I believe that these stories have to be told. You can read the transcript below.

I have to do this because this is not I am speaking. This is the people who wanted to tell the world what they want to say. 

North Korea is an unimaginable country. There is only one channel on TV. There is no internet. 

We aren’t free to sing, say, wear or think what we want. 

North Korea is the only country in the world that executed people for making unauthorised international phone calls.

North Koreans are being terrorised today.

When I was growing up in North Korea, I never saw anything about love stories between men and women. No books, no songs, no press, no movies about love stories. 

There is no Romeo and Juliet. Every story was propaganda to brainwash us about the Kim dictators. 

I was born in 1993 and I was abducted at birth even before I knew the words – freedom and human rights. 

North Koreans are desperately seeking and dying for freedom at this moment. 

When I was nine years old, I saw my friend’s mother publicly executed. Her crime: Watching a hollywood movie. 

Expressing doubt about the greatness of the regime can get three generations imprisoned or executed. 

When I was four years old, I was warned by my mother not to even whisper. The birds and mice couldn’t hear me. I admit it, I thought the North Korean dictator could read my mind. 

My father died in China after we escaped North Korea and I had to bury him at 3 a.m in secret. 

I was 14 years old. I couldn’t even cry. I was afraid to be sent back to North Korea. 

The day I escaped North Korea, I saw my mother raped. The rapist was a Chinese broker. He targeted me. I was 13 years old. 

There is a saying in North Korea: “Women are weak but mothers are strong.”

My mother allowed herself to be raped in order to protect me.

North Korean refugees, about 300, 000 are vulnerable in China. 

70% of North Korean women and teenage girls are being victimised; Sometimes sold for as little as $200.

We walked across the Gobi desert, following a compass. When that stopped working, we followed the stars to freedom. I felt only the stars were with us.

Mongolia was our freedom moment. Death or dignity. Armed with knives, we were prepared to kill ourselves if we were going to be sent back to North Korea. We wanted to live as humans. 

People often ask me: “How can we help North Koreans?” There are many ways, but I would like to mention three for now. 

One: Educate yourself so you can raise awareness about human crisis in North Korea. 

Two: Help and support North Korean refugees who are trying to escape to freedom. 

Three: Petition China to stop repatriation. We have to shed light on the darkest place in the world.

It isn’t just North Korean human rights. It’s our rights that North Korean dictators have violated for seven decades. 

We need governments around the world to put more pressure on China to stop repatriation. 

In particular, Chinese delegates of One Young World can play a part by speaking out. 

North Korea is indescribable.No humans deserve to be oppressed just because of their birthplace. 

We need to focus less on the regime and more on the people who are being forgotten. 

One Young World, we are the ones who will make them visible. Fellow delegates, please join me as we make this a global movement to free North Koreans. 

When I was crossing the Gobi desert, scared of dying, I thought nobody in this world cared. It seemed that only the stars were with me. 

But you have listened to my story. 

You have cared. Thank you very much. 

When Did I Grow Up?

Source: Pinterest

Source: Pinterest 

I watched Ed Sheeran’s ‘Photograph’ video and it made me feel a whole lot of emotions. It brought tears to my eyes because you see a transition take place. At the start, he is just a little innocent baby with no cares in the world and then, you see him grow older and finally he has become this rockstar with thousands of people lining up to hear him sing.

Funny enough, my sister called me today and she said: “I have to start making all these decisions and it’s like when did that happen?” and I told her that she is right. I said: “I feel the same way. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was taking my lunchbox to school and now, I have to start making all these future decisions.

I wish I knew when it happened because I have no idea when it took place. When did I start to feel the weight of the world on my shoulders? When did I start to feel hurt? When? because for the life of me, I cannot remember. All I know is that, I woke up one morning and I realised that i was grown.

Now, all I can do is hope that my decisions from here on out are the right ones.

I AM BITTER…SO WHAT?

Source: Pintrest

Source: Pinterest

So, at the beginning of last year, I started to lose a friend of mine. She was very close to me and I considered her my soul sister. I had never clicked with anyone so much as I had with her when I first met her and I loved her – I still do. However, at the start of last year, we started to drift.

We talked less and less and less. In fact, I can count on my fingers how many times we spoke. I tried to reach out to her. I called, texted and in most cases, I would not get a reply from her. I went through something really tough last year and she heard about it through someone else, but she still did not reach out to me. I had to reach out to her myself to actually get her to speak to me about my situation and still, we did not get to talk about it as much as I would have hoped.

She told me she was also going through a hard time but how was I to know? I called all the time, I texted but when you don’t speak to me, how would I know that you are going through a tough time? I am not a psychic. Anyway, things got a bit worse. She did something that also hurt me a little bit but it wasn’t the action itself that hurt me. Rather, it was the way she went about it that hurt. Still, I wanted to maintain my friendship with her because she meant a lot to me.

When it seemed like we were walking through our issues, the cycle would begin again. It got to a point that I did not recognise who my friend was anymore. Now, we don’t speak and I am fine with that because all through last year, I kept on making excuses for her. I made excuses for her to anyone that asked. However, there are no more excuses to be made. I have gotten my closure and I know that I tried the hardest that I could. I know and those around me know.

I would be dishonest if I say that it still doesn’t bother me. It does. I am still a bit bitter about it. And I am okay with that because it just goes to show that she meant a lot to me and it will take time for me to let go of that. I am embracing the emotions that come with it. Sometimes, when we get hurt, we want to quickly skip to the good part where we do not hurt anymore but it does not work that way. Pain is like boot camp or like going to the gym. You have to feel the burn in order to look better and feel better. Pain helps us grow and I am slowly but surely getting to the point where I understand where we’re at and that people drift apart sometimes.

As for my ex-friend, I still believe she is a great person and I still have massive love for her. When you love someone, you always love them. So, I still have love for her and I wish her the very best. I battled a little bit in my mind about sharing this but this is my own truth. This is how I saw it from my perspective. I don’t know how she saw it from hers and I respect her own truth. The point is that I have learned from this and I am definitely growing.