I don’t want to settle

I don’t have the best relationship with my father, which is so sad to say because growing up, he was my favourite parent. His relationship with my mum was always rocky but for me as a kid, he felt like a safe place.

My mum was tough on me but he wasn’t. He was easy to be around in a way my mum wasn’t. I probably learnt my do-re-mi’s before I learnt my ABC’s because my dad was into music. He played the keyboard a lot and so most mornings, the sound of music would always be heard around the house.

He played a lot of hymns and so, some of the hymns I know today was heard in my home first before I heard it anywhere else.

He was the one that introduced my siblings and I to weird combos of food and he was the one that cracked jokes and always made me laugh.

My dad was the best. Until things got really bad between him and my mum and he took it out on us – the kids.

Based on my little knowledge on psychology, I know that my relationship with my dad has influenced my choice of men. Not only do I tend to go for men that are significantly older than me but I also seem to always seek validation from them. I go looking for acceptance from them because I did not get that from my father. I tend to go for men who care for me as long as it doesn’t impede on their own desires.

Now, I love my dad very much but there is no doubt that being emotionally abandoned by the very first man in my life affected me tremendously. And let’s not even talk about the molestation that I had endured from some of the men that were around me.

But, I don’t want that to hold me back anymore. I think I am deserving. I am deserving of a good man who loves God and will love and respect me also. I am worth that and much more and I am willing to wait until I get that because up until now, I have only gotten heartache. I don’t want to settle. And I know that in the end, I will get the amazing man that I deserve.

Girls Trip is not just a movie; it’s an experience!

On Friday, my girl – Akunna – and I decided to go and watch Girls Trip at the cinema and I have to tell you, we had such an amazing time. The movie was really good and so funny and definitely one that I would see over and over again.

For those who don’t know what Girls Trip is about, I’ll give a little premise without providing any spoilers. So, the movie is about four black women who have been friends since college and haven’t seen each other in a while. So, when one of them gets the hook-up to go to EssenceFest in New Orleans – all expenses paid – she decides to go on the trip with her girls. Their journey and their time at EssenceFest is filled with a lot of laughs and life changing moments.

Apart from the wonderful movie, I actually enjoyed being in the cinema. There were so many women; so many black women who were there. In fact, I only saw a guy or two. Women came with their girls to enjoy this movie and it felt like a sisterhood in there. We all laughed together and there were moments where you hear everyone go ‘Mmmhhhmmmm’ at a scene. It was like we could all relate to the women in the movie. It was so beautiful to see and experience.

It felt like we were all going on a Girls Trip and it brought us all together for the couple of hours that we were there. If you haven’t seen it, I think you are really really missing out. I think it is important to go with your girls and support the movie at the cinema. I believe this is one of those movies that you don’t want to wait for it to come out so that you can watch it at home alone. I mean you can do that, but after you’ve seen it at the cinema. You have to experience the shared bond that women come to share at this movie and you will not regret it.

You can check out the trailer below:

So, let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I always love to hear for you all.


Dolly. ❤