DAY 4: THE GREATEST LOVE STORY

When I got back from church last week, I received a call from my sister. She asked if I was busy cause she wanted to talk. I wasn’t. So, we got to talking. In recent times, my sister and I always have the best conversations. We talk a lot about God, life, family and whatever may be bothering both of us. We offer advice when necessary and we encourage each other when necessary.

This conversation was no different. But it was too in a way because as I was talking, something came out of my mouth that was definitely not my words but that of the Holy Spirit. I can’t even remember exactly what the conversation was about but I remember saying something along the lines of: “The Bible is a love story from God to us; From beginning to the end, God has been painting a picture of His unconditional love for us.” That was a revelation for my sister and it was for me too. Of course, we knew that The Bible was important and His Word was important but hearing those words (which I 100% believe were completely inspired by the Holy Spirit) just made my heart feel so grateful and so overwhelmed by the fullness of God’s love. 

For the last week, I have mediated on those words and I felt this need to write on it and make it public.

Guys, think about it. From the first word to the last, God had been painting a picture for us. He didn’t just write us a letter; he wrote a whole entire book. A whole book to show how deep his love really goes.

God created this book for us to be a guideline in our journey to Him. He wanted us to understand Him; to understand how He works; to understand his mind. 

There are things in the Bible that are wonderful and there are things that are disappointing. You see real people in real situations. You see real human beings who were faced with difficult tasks. You see men of God like David, who still fell short. You see persecutors like Paul who had an encounter with Jesus and his entire life changed. You see women like Rahab who, though a prostitute, was instrumental in the Israelites entering the promised land. You see people like Jabez who had a difficult life and prayed an extraordinary prayer. You see Job who seemingly did everything right but still had it all taken away from him. You see the Israelites go against God time and time and time again and yet His love for them continued to burn brighter and brighter. 

If you pay attention to the Bible, you will see clues of God’s infinite wise mind at work. You see how things connect and come about in the right time. You see how He had been working all this time for our own good. And then you see Jesus, who submitted himself as a sacrifice for us. I mean, how beautiful is this book?

Some times, people expect things they see in the Bible to all be perfect forgetting that a lot of times, the Bible is showing human beings like us. The humans in the Bible all had feelings. They weren’t perfect. They failed at times. Look at Solomon. In all his wisdom, he still had no self-control when it came to women. Same with Samson. Blessed with so much strength but still weak at the hands of women. Look at Eli, a priest of God but failed at parenting. All these stories are included in the Bible to show people that experienced things that we do and how God still loved them and used them to do great things.

The Bible was not made to condemn you because Jesus has taken that away from us. We, that belong to Christ are no longer condemned. The Bible is a guideline on how to live life. We have all the examples that we need in the Bible for every situation that we experience. And we have a choice to make. God doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He knows that we can’t be. He just wants us to try. He still loves us anyway as the Bible will show. Despite David’s shortcomings – and believe me, he had A LOT of them – he is still referred to as ‘The Man after God’s heart’. God gave us free will so, he won’t force us to do anything. He loves us regardless.

Stop looking to find perfection in the Bible. The only perfection that exists in the Bible is God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit. Other than that, we have human beings who had real lives, real experiences, real feelings, real hurt, real pain, real happiness. They had their biases and their opinions. But God used a whole lot of them anyway. Doesn’t that give us some kind of comfort? That, we don’t have to be perfect for God to love us or use us? To know that He loves us still and all He wants is for us to depend and trust in Him? I know it gives me comfort. 

I hope that in reading this, you come to see the Bible for what it really is. It is a story of love that God gave to us. 

Thank you God for loving me so much!!

I am through with the dating game.

What is it about me that says ‘ready to be played?’ 

I spent the last week being completely depressed. I slept a lot. I cried a lot and I thought a lot. One could say it was due to PMS or one could say it was due to the fact that I got approached by yet another dude who likes me enough to want to have sex with me but not enough to actually date me. Or it could be both, who knows? Crazier things have happened eh?

As you may know, I am a romantic. I am corny. I am sappy. I believe that love is one of the most meaningful things in this world but lately, I’ve started to doubt that. I mean, I still think it is but maybe just not for me. I am at my wit’s end when it comes to this dating game and at this point, I just want to simply step out of it.

I feel exhausted and worn out. Maybe it’s the PMS but I spent the last week trying to figure out what was wrong with me. What is it about me that says ‘ready to be played?’

In the last few years, I have grown to be more confident in the woman that I am but this last week showed me that I still have a long way to go. But as for this dating game, I feel done. I feel through.

And it sucks more because I have loved but haven’t ever felt that love back. So, I don’t even know what it means to be in a relationship with a person who thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. And I worry sometimes that I wouldn’t get that.

This is not post asking for sympathy. This is just a post that mirrors what I am going through in my life right now. And I want to know if I have sisters or brothers out there who feel the way I do. But, as of right now, I’m done.

I can’t keep doing this. It’s not even fun anymore.

I don’t want to settle

I don’t have the best relationship with my father, which is so sad to say because growing up, he was my favourite parent. His relationship with my mum was always rocky but for me as a kid, he felt like a safe place.

My mum was tough on me but he wasn’t. He was easy to be around in a way my mum wasn’t. I probably learnt my do-re-mi’s before I learnt my ABC’s because my dad was into music. He played the keyboard a lot and so most mornings, the sound of music would always be heard around the house.

He played a lot of hymns and so, some of the hymns I know today was heard in my home first before I heard it anywhere else.

He was the one that introduced my siblings and I to weird combos of food and he was the one that cracked jokes and always made me laugh.

My dad was the best. Until things got really bad between him and my mum and he took it out on us – the kids.

Based on my little knowledge on psychology, I know that my relationship with my dad has influenced my choice of men. Not only do I tend to go for men that are significantly older than me but I also seem to always seek validation from them. I go looking for acceptance from them because I did not get that from my father. I tend to go for men who care for me as long as it doesn’t impede on their own desires.

Now, I love my dad very much but there is no doubt that being emotionally abandoned by the very first man in my life affected me tremendously. And let’s not even talk about the molestation that I had endured from some of the men that were around me.

But, I don’t want that to hold me back anymore. I think I am deserving. I am deserving of a good man who loves God and will love and respect me also. I am worth that and much more and I am willing to wait until I get that because up until now, I have only gotten heartache. I don’t want to settle. And I know that in the end, I will get the amazing man that I deserve.

Uncharted Territory

I am entering a brand new chapter in my life. Actually, scratch that. I am in a new chapter in my life. I’m in it whether I like it or not. There are so many changes taking place in my life at the moment and I feel overwhelmed.

I believe that change is necessary but I am a hoarder of sentiments and feelings and so, it is always hard for me to leave a previous chapter because that chapter is familiar to me. With entering a new phase, I always get nervous and scared of what it might bring.

The one change that I am going to focus on today is my new single life. I haven’t been single since I was 17 years old and I just got out of my first ‘for real, for real’ relationship. You know, when I was in secondary school, I dated about two people but it was definitely nothing like this. This relationship was my first taste of an actual relationship — we spent a lot of time together, we did a lot of things together, we laughed, we argued, there were horrible moments and there were great moments.

However, that relationship had to end and at first, it was hard to deal with it but eventually, I got over it and it was a great and vey necessary decision to make. I feel like I am breathing a new kind of air. I am as excited as I am nervous because this is uncharted territory for me.

I feel like being single in your 20s is very different from being single in your teens. So, I am trying to figure out the ropes. The most important thing to me is to figure myself out. I have a lot of maturing to do and I want to lay a good foundation in my professional life. At the moment, my heart can only handle me. I don’t have it in me to fall for someone else or give my heart to someone else. It is too much energy for me to handle right now.

So, in trying to figure out this new singledom, I am just going to ensure that I look out for myself and look out for my own happiness because no one is going to do that for me.

 

Photo: Middle Market Growth